The rhyming - or lack thereof - isn't a problem as the melody does the resolution work.
The song is a good one and the arrangement work with it quite well.
The only nit I would pick is that the vocal processing has increased the "essing". I'd suggest either backing it off, V chopping the syllable or using a de esser.
Your added instrumentation really does a good job of beefing up the backing.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe