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Songwriting
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Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,326
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Veteran
Joined: Apr 2009
Posts: 9,326 |
I really dislike giving feedback on lyrics because that is my weaker point when it comes to writing songs. So you can appreciate my hesitation to give lyric based advice on specific lyrics.
Writing is a skill that one generally has to learn. You can learn and advance by several different paths. One is to analyze the songs you really like. Study the structure of the lyrics and how the verses are put together as well as the choruses. Notice how they tell a story and how the parts fit together and most importantly, that you can understand pretty much everything that the writer is trying to say on a first reading of the lyrics.
I think the secret to good writing is to be able to coherently tell the story or convey the images in your mind to the listener so that the listener has a thorough understanding of what you're trying to tell them. There are numerous exceptions to this concept, but generally, that;s how I approach writing. I am asking myself constantly, will the listeners understand this without further and more detailed explanation? If not, I have to rewrite it until they do.
I believe I mentioned this previously. Find a co-writer to work with who you think is better than you and is where you want to be as a writer. Lots of songwriter's forums online.
I also, highly recommend all writers read books and study the art and craft of writing to improve their skill level and then... write, write, write and then write some more. There are online and in person classes and local songwriting groups you can join to learn the skills you need. If you look up the Nashville Songwriter's Association International website, there;s a good chance you can find a local chapter near you and join them. Ordinarily, membership is not required at the local chapter level.
In regards to the lyrics you posted, I recall the previous version and think this is still lacking a cohesive story line. Of course, I'm looking at it from a country writer's POV and if it's a different genre, that may not be the case at all. Rock and pop lyrics are a bit different from country. You have a good idea, but IMHO it needs to be a bit more descriptive. Put the listener into the song. Make us feel that what you're talking about is real.
That's probably the hardest part of writing. Putting the listener into the shoes of the song so to speak. But that's what separates the good writers from the rest of the pack. Take the time to learn, and express your thoughts in unique and interesting ways.
Not sure if that was helpful or not.... but.... whatever advice you get and decide to listen to.... keep writing. Each writer has a style and you need to find yours. It will happen as you progress along the path of writing and to get there..... yep... you gotta keep writing.
Edit.... another thing I just remembered. the website at TAXI.com is a great place to hang out. Membership there is expensive. However, you can join their forum and participate there for free. So... here's a couple of reasons to hang out there.
1. It's all about writing better songs. That's what they do. 2. There's a large number of really good writers in that place. 3. They will tailor the advice to the level you ask for if you post something for critique. Beginner, Intermediate, or Professional. 4. You can see the industry listings and try your hand at writing to the listings. This is good because it gives you a topic, and a deadline. ** 5. You can find co-writers there. 6. It doesn't cost you anything but your time.
** I have a tune or two on my page that was written under those very conditions. If you are curious, I will provide details and links.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 06/23/20 10:19 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
Convenient Ways to Listen to Band-in-a-Box® Songs Created by Program Users!
The User Showcase Forum is an excellent place to share your Band-in-a-Box® songs and listen to songs other program users are creating!
There are other places you can listen to these songs too! Visit our User Showcase page to sort by genre, artist (forum name), song title, and date - each listing will direct you to the forum post for that song.
If you'd rather listen to these songs in one place, head to our Band-in-a-Box® Radio, where you'll have the option to select the genre playlist for your listening pleasure. This page has SoundCloud built in, so it won't redirect you. We've also added the link to the Artists SoundCloud page here, and a link to their forum post.
We hope you find some inspiration from this amazing collection of User Showcase Songs!
Congratulations to the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
We've just announced the 2023 User Showcase Award Winners!
There are 45 winners, each receiving a Band-in-a-Box 2024 UltraPAK! Read the official announcement to see if you've won.
Our User Showcase Forum receives more than 50 posts per day, with people sharing their Band-in-a-Box songs and providing feedback for other songs posted.
Thank you to everyone who has contributed!
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