Engaging lyrics and interesting melody. So the most important part are there.

The mix is a bit boomy and midrangey to my inexpert ears.

At the instrumental around 0:50, the lead guitar and is a bit too laid back, so it's hard to focus. It feels like it loses some energy at that point. A different mix would probably resolve the issue, but it seems early in the song to bring in a 16 bar solo. I'd cut it much shorter.

There's a certain sameness to the texture with the rhythm guitar - towards the end it's wearing out it's welcome. I'd drop it out for a verse, and then bring it back in again to provide contrast and a lift at the end.

Vocals seem a bit back in the mix.

Harmony would be a great addition; perhaps some "oohs" in the background as well.

Them's my thoughts, and probably worth less than what you paid for 'em. wink

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?