I wrote and recorded this the last weekend in April. I've misplaced my StudioOne file, but when I find it, I'll update this post with info about what extra tracks I created in StudioOne. ===========================
LYRICS
Draft 9
Verse 1.1 Say you’re all alone Say soft songs of home Drifted shoreward like the corpse of a child Who couldn’t carry the lie
Verse 1.2 And the dark endangered sea That promised to be wild and free Bloomed bitter and costly and cold And salted your heart
Chorus 1.1 And now you're all the way down Your hope’s halfway drowned The faces churned up through the waves Eye a terrible light.
Chorus 1.2 And now you're all the way down Broken ship run aground A vessel that's vanished from sight That beds hard in the sea
Verse 2.1 Say your lover's words Last true bird you heard Soared high in the sky but then vanished To the thief of the flight.
Verse 2.2 Say you shuttered your life Fed your letters to fire Snuck the blood from the bones' broken cup Till the world had run dry.
Chorus 2.1 And now you're all the way down And from your place on the ground You see the stars slowly pulled, how they're torn From the sky's fragile gown
Chorus 2.2 And now you're all the way down. All the way down. And the murmur of yearning and love Is hard lost to the night.
Bridge Well you know in your heart You hold the sea and its charts Well you know in your heart You could let go and swim toward the light
Chorus 3.1 But now you're all the way down All the way down Like a ship. Like the waves. Like the broken Refusing the fight.
Chorus 3.2 And now you're all the way down All the way down. Sullen fool holds the wreck of his heart In a trembling hand.
End Look to the light - let your heart fill with light Look to the light - oh, you know that it’s right Look to the light Though you’re wrecked and you’re broken Still you can fill with the light
=========================
This song sketch began as a poem in Afrikaans. I applied the translitic method to it to create the following 1st draft and then I kept revising until I made song lyrics.
Draft 1
Chaos registers okay in the class so dapper the under-wiser bine-strap the hooligans had horns going rear systems had wasted and gone the Thames veered vandalism in the world. A husky word salivated, ingested word I can you less leer And what you knew shall forget me. Hi hat and sun go scream what go scream hat a horn dares and down the moor toe trek high the mice actor home and the being met group hear to hard loop high the sword in the hand toss the gease the rye ears come ears go, very clear hi fingers vote of tone hi gooey the sword not in the later comer dittle traffic and doe like dole trek then and howl gear you'd hi gain words met system spell these first ant plopping masks the rugged scoon (wear diagonal water skier, with hand) hoolah vale so is rubber jolly (hula veil) wander the prop and go trek word
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I had a cold when I recorded this, so my low-voice is pretty strained and scratchy. I plan to redo it. I'm open to hearing any other suggestions for the song. I really appreciate all the helpful comments and suggestions on the other songs I've posted on this forum. Thanks so much for all your help and your kind and encouraging words. I've enjoyed listening to everyone else's songs too. So much talent on this forum. Great job everyone.
Oh, I remembered an extra track I added. I had just built an electric guitar with piezo's in the saddles, and I used that to make the acoustic guitar intro. It was one of those "first thought, best thought" kind of guitar parts, but I'm open to changing it if you don't feel it fits or if you think it needs more refinement. Or if you think I need to add that acoustic guitar part as a fill in more parts of the song, let me know.
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