Nice write, catchy chorus and good arrangement as well. laugh


A couple of nits to ignore. I know, it's bad form to suggest changes, especially when it wasn't requested.

"I weren't the first" has a nice consonance between weren't and first, but it sort of sticks out.

"Weren't the first. Ain't the last" doubles down on the colloquialism, but softens it a bit.

On "All my friends knew she’d deceive", you're a bit soft on the /V/ in deceive, so I mis-heard the line as All my friends knew she did see. Yeah, my kids complain that I'm deaf, but it's mostly that I'm not paying attention to them. wink

It sets up a storyline that seems to me as being needlessly complex:

  • The singer is out for the evening with a group of all his friends listening to blues music in Memphis.
  • He meets a woman by chance, and they hit it off.
  • All his friends are so concerned about her that they warn him she'll leave him

And it raises all sort of logistic questions for me, like:

  • Did the singer live in Memphis? If not, why are "all" his friends there?
  • How did his friends form an opinion about this woman so quickly? Were they listening in on the conversation? Why did they all feel they needed to give their opinions?
  • At what point did they all tell him she wasn't trustworthy? Did she have to go powder her nose or something?

I think something like "Though I wanted to believe" simplifies things a bit. wink

As I said, they're just nits. If I write this much, it means I like the song, not the other way around. So feel free to ignore the comments and just know you've gotten me engaged in the song!

Thanks for posting, I enjoyed the song! smile


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?