Thanks Ronnie, here are the lyrics:

Don't Squeeze The Toothpaste From The Middle
Barry Peck
October 25, 2021


V. 1
Now marriage counselors everywhere can verify this truth
If you want a happy marriage, you must follow certain rules
Like treat each other with respect and together solve life’s riddles
Like why is it so bad to squeeze the toothpaste from the middle

If you do!
Will the sun stop burning (No. No)? Will the world stop turning (I don’t think so)?
If it did, we’d all be spinning out in space
These aren’t major problems. So find a way to solve them
If you do the home you live in will become a warmer place

V. 2
There’s no deep message in this song that I’m trying to convey
Ignore the petty things and you’ll grow closer everyday
Don’t make mountains out of molehills; be content with second fiddle
You’ll find you gain a lot by just relinquishing a little

Break:

V. 3
There’s one more tip I’d like to share before the music ends
A little bit of wisdom that’s intended for us men
If you want to keep her happy and avoid that scary frown
Each time you leave the bathroom just make sure the seat is down

If you don’t!
Will the sun stop burning (no, it won’t)? Will the world stop turning (I don’t think so)?1
But that’s not the point I’m really trying to make
Don’t sweat the little problems. Just find a way to solve them
And balance out your lives with equal shares of give and take
And if it’s still a problem… just squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom!