Originally Posted By: Sundance
Hi Adam and welcome to the forum!

Glad you figured out how to get your vocals centered. I enjoyed your song very much. I like the length of your chorus, I'd suggest rewriting to change a few words or a line instead of just repeating the same whole thing twice or shortening it.

I can’t move, I know I should; If I could break it then I would
I can’t move I’m paralyzed; I wish I had an alibi
I can’t ____, I _____________; If I ___________________________
I can’t move I’m paralyzed; I wish I had an alibi

Just a thought. Use or toss.

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Josie


Thanks Josie - I appreciate the suggestions. I think I will leave this song, but I hear what you are saying and will have that concept in mind when I write the next song!

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