Originally Posted By: rayc
Todd,
that line is uncomfortable reading/listening but there's nothing wrong with that I wouldn't drop it though I might revisit that discomfort again with something thematically similar.
Musically, It's lovely but if it dropped into a darker section, same musically but different, darker tones added for example, you'd have contrast as well.
I like it all as is but that line stands out.


Thanks, Ray, for those ideas. I might try that--revisiting the discomfort with something thematically similar. I have a lot of revision I'd like to do to this song, so I might do a few more rewrites of the lyrics. Thanks again! Cheers, Todd

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