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Do you ever write lyrics and find yourself having this kind of feeling as you are writing? Step Away From the Rhymes I just had one of those moments. Not proud of it.
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Rhyming in a song lyrics is OK, however it isn't essential as it is in rhyming poetry.
It should really be words that fit the music, if there is some rhyme in there fine, but the important thing is to fit the musical phrasing!
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Rhyming in a song lyrics is OK, however it isn't essential as it is in rhyming poetry.
It should really be words that fit the music, if there is some rhyme in there fine, but the important thing is to fit the musical phrasing! Agreed. Just saying, sometimes you have "those days" when writing....at least I do, and am probably not alone in that 
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Rhyming in a song lyrics is OK, however it isn't essential as it is in rhyming poetry.
It should really be words that fit the music, if there is some rhyme in there fine, but the important thing is to fit the musical phrasing! I would agree generally speaking. For lyrics that don't rhyme (as you state) it would depend on the song structure and vocal phrasing. All my songs do rhyme even though some are intentionally written as very subtle yet still rhyme to the ear. To me, for a song, adhering to a rhyming structure just sounds more...well... lyrical. The trick is to come up with novel ways of expressing ourselves in our songwriting efforts and subjects we choose to write about. I've spent weeks agonizing over lyrics before a song is complete to my satisfaction. Guess I'm not that bright.  That's my take on it....a good weekend to all. Carry on....
Last edited by chulaivet1966; 05/08/15 12:26 PM.
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Guess I'm not that bright. smile To the contrary, it sounds like you take time and put thought into your lyrics. There is nothing wrong with that in my book.
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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[quote]To the contrary, it sounds like you take time and put thought into your lyrics. To be blunt....I certainly do. I've always loved to write, hence my concentration on lyrics/song subject is paramount. Whether my lyrical efforts are interesting, engaging and have an original appeal is up to the external listening audience as apposed to my subjective-self opinion. In the end, for me, writing lyrics and song is a creative therapy for this old bird. Back to it....
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I began writing lyrics in the early 2000s. I came to this with a background of being comfortable with creating music but extremely uncomfortable with creating lyrics. It's taken me over a decade to develop an ear for the effect of rhyme. These days, I'm a huge supporter of it. I believe that rhyme is one of the most powerful tools that any songwriter has in his/her box of songwriting gear. Just to clarify... when I talk about rhyme I'm meaning any of the following possibilities (as defined by Pat Pattison in "Writing Better Lyrics" - 2nd ed.)... - perfect rhyme - e.g start / heart, tree / sea
- family rhyme - e.g. slip / crib, hush / clutch
- subtractive rhyme - e.g. great / prey, toads / load
- additive rhyme - e.g. go / road, stripe / gripes
- assonance - e.g. broke / roast, hush / trumps
- consonance - e.g. barge / edge, sits / floats
- weak syllable rhyme - e.g. grow / follow, Monday / highway
Because lyrics are entirely aural, rhyme is one way that lyric movement and lyric momentum are created and managed. When an end-of-phrase rhyme is encountered, the listener hears a sense of completion. To my ears, such completion is somewhat similar to the effect of a period at the end of a sentence. This sense of completion might be a single thought (the aural equivalent of a couple of clauses or phrases used to create a sentence) or perhaps a whole section (the aural equivalent of a paragraph). From reading the article at this link, it would seem that Shakespeare was well aware of the power of the rhyme and used it to enhance all he wrote. Managing the degree of this sense of aural completion assists with the creation of lyric emotion. In my post at this link, I've given some examples of how emotion can be enhanced by considering different possibilities in relation to lyric rhyme. Using lyrics, it's also possible to create feelings of acceleration and deceleration. Pat Pattison, professor of songwriting and lyric guru from Berklee College, discusses this in detail in his book "Essential Guide To Lyric Form And Structure". Lyrical acceleration is an effect that stands outside the music because, for the most part, music timing remains constant. Such acceleration and deceleration can be used to enhance feelings of excitement, enjoyment, anger, upset, misery, etc. This type of lyric motion significantly enhances the lyric content of the words used and can spotlight important words and ideas. I'll continue playing around with "Mary Had A Little Lamb" in the same way that I did at the above link. Let's try accelerating then decelerating Mary through shortening phrase length before the end of the verse. (When reading this aloud, there should be a short pause at the end of each line.)
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
Spring,
Winter,
Summer,
Fall,
The lamb was sure to go.
When I read the above, the delay in getting to the closing rhyme that's created by adding single word phrases makes the last line stand out because it seems to slow down after having the short, accelerated lines before it. The four non-rhyming lines also make the final rhyme of "go" more prominent and the sense of completion is more satisfying. From a lyrics perspective, this makes the last line a perfect location for spotlighting important information (maybe a title). Because the final rhyme has also been amplified, it would be valuable to have a more significant word in the rhyming position. What about...
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
Spring,
Winter,
Summer,
Fall,
The lamb was Mary's rainbow.
The metaphorical connotations of a rainbow seem to set up a second lyric sequence that develops the notion that Mary's lamb brought her joy and happiness. Maybe something like...
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
Spring,
Winter,
Summer,
Fall,
The lamb was Mary's rainbow.
CHORUS
Mary and her lamb
Mary and her lamb
Travel'ing happy everywhere
Mary and her lamb
What about if I repeat the above verse but rhyme the short phrases...
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was white as snow
And everywhere that Mary went,
Her feet aching,
Her heart breaking,
Her soul shaking,
The lamb was sure to go.
After reading the above aloud, I'm left with a feeling of discomfort from not only the lyric content but also the three consecutive rhymes of shortened phrases. Pat Pattison says that when such a sequence of rhymes is encountered, a listener's brain is waiting for a fourth rhyme to resolve the section. When this doesn't eventuate, feelings of emotion are amplified as the listener's mind processes the lack of lyric balance. Hmmm.... it seems that I've written a whole heap more than I intended when I sat down to write in this thread. For what it's worth, the above are just some of my thoughts. I hope that the insight into my thinking is useful in some way. All the best, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Yes Noel, I too love the 'interest' created by imperfect and close rhymes - I love to hear these in music but I've never seen it articulated so well. Thanks for sharing.
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Noel,
I seldom write lyrics as the urge doesn't strike very often. But, I enjoyed reading your thoughts on writing lyrics. Your example using Mary Had A Little Lamb is very helpful and well thought out.
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Another aspect of this is that our minds intuitively supply the obvious rhyme, even if the song writer doesn't make it. A song I heard at Merlefest recently is a good example of the effect you can get by purposefully refusing to make the obvious rhyme. The song was about an unfaithful and promiscuous wife . The following line drove the audience into immediate laughter: She hired the neighbor's son to cut our grass
She gave him cold ice tea and a piece of pie
(the rest of the song rhymed at every line, as follows)
My landlord came while I was out of town
Our pipes got fixed and the rent went down...
(Paul Thorn, "BURN DOWN THE TRAILER PARK") This deliberate non-rhyme was instantly translated by the entire audience into the obvious rhyme... and in so doing, it was funnier than if the singer had delivered it as a rhyme in the first place.
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Pat, This song does EXACTLY what you describe. It's very clever and humourous. Each verse has no end-of-phrase rhymes although the brain hears lots of rhymes. It's a country song from the early 1950s called "Sweet Violets". https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7RjC1VG1MoIt seems that the brain really does anticipate rhyme. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Another aspect of this is that our minds intuitively supply the obvious rhyme, even if the song writer doesn't make it. A song I heard at Merlefest recently is a good example of the effect you can get by purposefully refusing to make the obvious rhyme. The song was about an unfaithful and promiscuous wife . The following line drove the audience into immediate laughter: She hired the neighbor's son to cut our grass
She gave him cold ice tea and a piece of pie
(the rest of the song rhymed at every line, as follows)
My landlord came while I was out of town
Our pipes got fixed and the rent went down...
(Paul Thorn, "BURN DOWN THE TRAILER PARK") This deliberate non-rhyme was instantly translated by the entire audience into the obvious rhyme... and in so doing, it was funnier than if the singer had delivered it as a rhyme in the first place. That is funny! I know the style you speak of. Here is a decent example of this... Be Together soon Both lyrically and musically it leads you to the unexpected.
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Noel96, it's funny...I came here to vent and ended up inspired! Your examples were AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
I get it was longer than you intended, but you could have kept going, as far as I am concerned.
I learned a lot from your response. It really has me thinking!
Any resources you have or are willing to post of your own thoughts, would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks again!
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Great discussion. When I wrote bluegrass songs many years ago it was typical of the genre to write four lines for both the chorus and verse and the 1st and 3rd lines rhymed. Pretty easy. But for the last couple of years I've tried to write in the Americana arena and have learned that more rhymes are typical. At first I was often stymied. Then from reading reference Noel gave me I came to learn that there were many types of rhymes and that opened up a lot more possibilities. I don't consider myself to be much more than a hack writer and I'm low volume but I do try and put thought into the process. And I try to give Janice something decent for her to work her magic on.
Like Pat and Noel have mentioned rhymes help folks anticipate, provide their own on occasion and remember lyrics. From Elvis through the Beatles to my Bluegrass decades into blues and now...when I listen to music the rhyme structure is just about essential. I've heard some great songs sans rhymes but, honestly, I have difficulty remembering the lyric. I just remembered that a couple of years ago fj mentioned to me that I should rhyme more and Noel gave me some great advice on how to use a refrain a la Blowing In The Wind. Thanks guys.
FWIW
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The idea of leading an audience into a rhyming word yet not actually using one as in the two different Youtube links contributed earlier, can be extended by leading into a word yet using a different one that actually does rhyme. I used that many years ago and long before musical software was available when I wrote :- I bought some potatoes for making a stew with, then asked for a tool for to peel them with ease. The man brought some out to display on his counter, He sure looked confused when I said left handed please. As you can see, I am left handed! To find things for me is a lifelong hunt. It's sometimes quite awkward to do things in my own way, in fact I'm convinced I was born back to front! Now I can look up to Mr McCartney, (Jimmi Hendricks and quite a few more) for they have shown me we are all of the best. We manage quite well playing left handedly we do our own thing as it's quite all left. Theres a bit more but won't bore you with it, however in some cases a cruder mind might just think of the wrong rhyming word, especially for a follow up of "Lifelong hunt" 
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Bud, I'm really glad you mentioned "Blowin' In The Wind". I remember our discussion at the time. To my way of thinking, those are great lyrics by Dylan and are a terrific example of how rhyme, especially non-perfect rhyme, can be used to create an emotional outlook. Since copyright laws allow me to critique a work and to use snippets from the work as examples in the critique, you've motivated me to write a little about these words (as I hear them, at least). The song is in the AAA format and utilises a refrain at the end of each A-section. This form works well for telling stories. For clarity, I'll call each A-section a "verse". Here's Peter, Paul and Mary's version... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ld6fAO4idaI...and here's verse one.
"Blowin' In The Wind"
[VERSE 1]
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?
The answer my friend is blowin' in the wind
The answer is blowin' in the wind
- To me, this is an 8-phrase verse. It could be argued that the questions are actually single phrases rather than two phrases. When they're set to the music, though, I hear two phrases, so I'll work with that.
- The rhyme scheme is xaxaxa for the first six lines.
- In line 7 there's a consonance rhyme with the 'nd' sound between "friend/wind"
- In line 7 there is also assonance, with a short 'i' sound, that connects blowin'/in /wind
- Line 8 repeats line 7 in a condensed form.
- Lines 7 and 8 form the refrain that's repeated at the end of each verse.
The rhyme scheme of xaxaxa has three rhymes interspersed with non-rhyming lines. Whenever a rhyming sequence of three presents itself, the brain waits for the balancing fourth rhyme. When it doesn't come, this causes a slightly unsettled feeling and is ideal for creating the state of mind conducive to reflection. It was no accident that Dylan asked such weighty questions and did it by leaving the rhyme scheme unbalanced. This is excellent prosody where he's matched lyric content to lyric emotion. It's also worth noting that man/sand is an additive rhyme while sand/banned is a perfect rhyme. At the end of verse 1, the only lyric connections are consonance and assonance as mentioned above. There is also the 'nd' sound that's common to banned/sand as well as the previously mentioned friend/wind. Consonance lacks significant resolution and, as such, it leaves the mind of the listener thinking, wondering. It seems to me that Dylan accomplished exactly what he wanted. By repeating the last line, Dylan capitalises on the short 'i' assonance with blowin'/in/wind. When I hear this sung with the music, it's like the rocking motion of leaves that's created by a gentle breeze - so very suitable for the concept of "blowin' in the wind". I don't know how your brain hears the 'wind' when you listen to this song but, for me, it's simply a gentle movement of air and not a gale. This effect is something that Dylan has managed to accomplish through skilful prosody. It's really worth thinking about how he has managed to achieve this in an even 8, 4/4 time; it's outstanding. Lastly, the repetition of the last line also draws attention, and reinforces, the perspective that there are no easy answers to these questions. All in all, "Blowin' In The Wind" is an amazing song. Thanks again, Bud, for reminding me of this. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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Noel96, it's funny...I came here to vent and ended up inspired! Your examples were AMAZING! Thank you so much for sharing!!!
I get it was longer than you intended, but you could have kept going, as far as I am concerned.
I learned a lot from your response. It really has me thinking!
Any resources you have or are willing to post of your own thoughts, would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks again! Heartolearn, There seems to be around a million songwriting books on the market and I've got heaps of those. I bought most of them when I lacked songwriting experience. Now that I've gained some of that, the majority of songwriting books that I have simply collect dust because their insights are limited and are only one dimensional. Below are my "must have" books. These give a full, three dimensional view of songwriting. I continually cycle through these and re-read them. FOR LYRICS...1. Writing Better Lyrics (2nd Ed.) by Pat Pattison 2. Essential Guide To Lyric Form And Structure by Pat Pattison 3. Essential Guide To Rhyming by Pat Pattison 4. 10 Steps To Effective Story Telling by Andrea Stolpe FOR MUSIC...1. Writing Music For Hit Songs by Jai Josefs 2. Melody In Songwriting by Jack Perricone 3. Melody by Jimmy Kachulis 4. Harmony by Jimmy Kachulis Also, Pat Pattison has a free, six-week songwriting course at http://coursera.org . Lastly, I encourage you to visit the "Lyric Tips" page on Pat Pattison's website. It's found here. I think you'll enjoy Pat's writing and the ideas he has to offer. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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