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At the boat show I'm playing for I'd like to do some fun stuff. I know there are some folks smarter than me around here so I've started a list and hope to get some more to add to it.
It goes like this-
It's time to head south: when-
-you go outside after it snows and can't find your car
-the kids have to put snowsuits under their halloween costumes.
-it goes above zero and people put shorts on.
-you don't have to hold your breath to turn blue.
-you have a dozen or more recipes for Moose Meat.
-when the four seasons go like this-winter, still winter, end of winter and almost spring.
-the "Red Green" show is your favorite TV program.
-you get excited whenever you can see bare ground.
-you have to wear spikes on your shoes and you're not a golfer.
-you carry salt in your car and it's not for consumption.
-you don't need a freezer for you food, you just leave it outside.
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1. You only know three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup.
2. You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
3. The mosquitoes have landing lights.
4. You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
5. You have 10 favourite recipes for moose meat.
6. Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
7. You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one meter above the ground.
8. You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.
9. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.
10. You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
11. The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports.
12. At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
13. The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
14. Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
15. You think the start of moose season is a national holiday.
16. You head south to go to your cottage.
17. You frequently clean grease off your barbeque so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
18. You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
19. The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo - it's sausage making.
20. You find -40C a little chilly.
21. The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
22. You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorels.
23. You can play road hockey on skates.
24. You know 4 seasons - Winter, Still Winter, almost Winter and Construction.
25. The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.
26. You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Northern friends.
John Conley
Musica est vita
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How do you stop your bacon from curling in the pan.
Answer:
Take away their brooms.
John Conley
Musica est vita
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Quote:
At the boat show I'm playing for I'd like to do some fun stuff. I know there are some folks smarter than me around here so I've started a list and hope to get some more to add to it.
It goes like this-
It's time to head south: when-
-you go outside after it snows and can't find your car
-the kids have to put snowsuits under their halloween costumes.
-it goes above zero and people put shorts on.
-you don't have to hold your breath to turn blue.
-you have a dozen or more recipes for Moose Meat.
-when the four seasons go like this-winter, still winter, end of winter and almost spring.
-the "Red Green" show is your favorite TV program.
-you get excited whenever you can see bare ground.
-you have to wear spikes on your shoes and you're not a golfer.
-you carry salt in your car and it's not for consumption.
-you don't need a freezer for you food, you just leave it outside.
Even Al Gore is dressing in layers!
Later,
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If he moves to Texas will he be Gore-Tex?
Living proof that science and politics do not mix.
John Conley
Musica est vita
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Geez, no one even commented. Good thing we didn't post jokes about 'mericans. We would be ducking nukes, incoming mortars, flame thowers, etc. etc...LOL.
One of my favorite real funny things. Our fire hydrants are painted yellow. It's snowing and the captain of our truck is half blind and can't wear glasses under a mask. We are coming up on a house fire, middle of the day, it's snowing and capt. sees something yellow.
"Take that hydrant right there" he says.
It's a kid in a yellow snow suit.
We still laugh at that every retirement party.
John Conley
Musica est vita
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Well, I was going to say something about his moving to Mexico and then maybe he'd just be Gored. But I thought better of it.
R.
"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."
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Journeyman
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It's time to head south when: You get caught in bed with your neighbors' wife. ( Ok...thanks to Flatpicker, I've got tiger on the brain 
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There are two seasons in Canada - Construction and Hockey.
The Liberal Party is so old, it's over the Parliament Hill
Good Luck
Check out a Shel Silverstein poem called "The Mermaid" - very popular everywhere I've performed it.
Ian
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 Funny what you Canucks are up to over there
Follow That Dream Sam Karaoke King -------------------- Turning that corner again - I have to keep following that dream, no matter what
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Brain freeze, Sam. So cold the dogs are sticking to the trees. Ian
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Its not exactly warm here in Vienna either
Follow That Dream Sam Karaoke King -------------------- Turning that corner again - I have to keep following that dream, no matter what
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john, i loved them all. forwarding the to cuz helen in moncton, nb. thanks for the lift.
ed, i'm sure you've heard the definition of a boat...its a hole in the water that the owner keeps trying to fill with money.
got down to 27f/-3c last night, supposed to be colder tonight but no snow here yet.
Last edited by Don Gaynor; 12/18/09 10:47 PM.
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Quote:
Brain freeze, Sam. So cold the dogs are sticking to the trees.
Ian
It's so DRY here, the trees chase the dogs.
Cheers,
Keith
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ahh, 27f .. I miss that warm weather ..
got so cold up here we had to warm our words over the fire to have a conversation ..
Make your sound your own!
.. I do not work here, but the benefits are still awesome
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Review: 4.75 out of 5 Stars!
If you're looking for a in-depth review of the newest Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows version, you'll definitely find it with Sound-Guy's latest review, Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows Review: Incredible new capabilities to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs.
A few excerpts:
"The Tracks view is possibly the single most powerful addition in 2024 and opens up a new way to edit and generate accompaniments. Combined with the new MultiPicker Library Window, it makes BIAB nearly perfect as an 'intelligent' composer/arranger program."
"MIDI SuperTracks partial generation showing six variations – each time the section is generated it can be instantly auditioned, re-generated or backed out to a previous generation – and you can do this with any track type. This is MAJOR! This takes musical experimentation and honing an arrangement to a new level, and faster than ever."
"Band in a Box continues to be an expansive musical tool-set for both novice and experienced musicians to experiment, compose, arrange and mix songs, as well as an extensive educational resource. It is huge, with hundreds of functions, more than any one person is likely to ever use. Yet, so is any DAW that I have used. BIAB can do some things that no DAW does, and this year BIAB has more DAW-like functions than ever."
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