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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 4
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 4 |
Hi all, I am a newbie, and this is my first BIAB original. I have been trying to make my vocals sound richer but don't know enough about mixing so I keep making it worse. Thought I'd post before I totally destroy it. Actually the first song I've shared in probably 35 years. SoundCloud - Rose Tinted Glasses I am very happy with the BIAB results - less happy with my own. These are the real tracks used. ***** Song Summary ************* Style is RoKPno34.STY Style MIDI Instruments are : Strings (49), RealTracks in song: 1192:Bass, Electric, PopRockWaltz Ev 140 RealTracks in song: ~1188:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm PopWaltz Ev 120 RealTracks in song: 854:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm RockWaltzA-B Ev 140 RealDrums: RealDrums in Song: PopRockWaltzModernEv,Hat,Ride: a: Snare, HiHat b: Snare, Ride ******************* Have at it! Any feedback, constructive or otherwise, is welcome.
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 3,615
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Joined: Jan 2012
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Not sure what the the initial sound was at the begging was but it took away a little from the song.
Good lyrics and well performed.
Good effort.
Rob
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Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,694
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Hi Bart!
Welcome to the Showcase!
Some funny stuff in that...
"I wish expectations could just disappear
sit on a park bench just drinkin my beer
no need for rushin, my calendars clear"
A little "Tom Lehrer-ish" in spots (always a good thing!).
The instrumentation works well for the song, though the drums are a bit "overblown" (the playing style) for a song that the lyric should be heard clearly - something a bit more subtle might be better (there are more subtle waltz drum styles).
Your vocals sound fine to me!
floyd
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 276
Apprentice
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Apprentice
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 276 |
Nice First Bart, i witness a few folks panhandling in the city each day, so i could relate to the sentiments you bring in the song. Thanks.
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Posts: 9,326
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The lyric crafting and melody work are great. Good job on the writing. Some off the wall stuff that sounds pretty cool actually.
As I hear this....I hear vocals, piano, and drums. not much of anything else.
The drums are throwing a weird sense of timing into this. Floyd called them overblown.... I'd call them distracting. Look for a more "stable" sounding drum track and replace that distracting one with something that keeps the time and stays in the background. Perhaps even a brushes based track. The focus should be the vocals and the piano.
It kind of in a distant way, reminds me of Billy Joel's Piano Man. Listen to that song and then remix this one in a similar manner.
Your OP says there are string, bass and guitar in it. If so, they need to be turned up considerably and put into the mix in a balanced way.
Last edited by Guitarhacker; 06/03/15 04:57 AM.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,888
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Joined: Jun 2012
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Hi Bart,
welcome to the forum.
Nice first post. I like the drums. They attracted my
attention. But as already said they distract a little
from the vocals.
Enjoyable listen. Good lyrics.
Guenter
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,083
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Joined: Dec 2011
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Welcome aboard. A cool write and
the vocal works fine for us.
Enjoyed the listen.
J&B
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Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 6,892
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Some really interesting stuff here!! Lyrics are very creative and original, and I like the way they walk the line between humor and depth. Very different song and unusual but interesting mix of musical/lyrical content. Enjoyed it! Take care. Greg
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 10,131
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Welcome to the forum!
Your mixing is better than you suspect. I was surprised to hear harmonies on your first try. Interesting lyrics.
Enjoyed hearing your song.
Jim Fogle - 2024 BiaB (1111) RB (5) Ultra+ PAK DAWs: Cakewalk by BandLab (CbB) - Standalone: Zoom MRS-8 Laptop: i3 Win 10, 8GB ram 500GB HDD Desktop: i7 Win 11, 12GB ram 256GB SSD, 4 TB HDD Music at: https://fogle622.wix.com/fogle622-audio-home
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Like the others, I thought you wrote interesting and compelling lyrics and your arrangement was nicely done with the exception of the already noted drums. Enjoyed listening and look forward to hearing from you again soon.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 4
Newbie
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OP
Newbie
Joined: Apr 2015
Posts: 4 |
Thanks so much for all the comments. @Rob4580 Not sure what the the initial sound was at the beginning was but it took away a little from the song. Good lyrics and well performed. Good effort. Thanks a lot Rob. The initial sound was supposed to be a street and change clinking in a cup. I'll take it out - I agree it distracts. @floyd jane A little "Tom Lehrer-ish" in spots (always a good thing!).
The instrumentation works well for the song, though the drums are a bit "overblown" (the playing style) for a song that the lyric should be heard clearly - something a bit more subtle might be better (there are more subtle waltz drum styles). Your vocals sound fine to me! Thanks Floyd, The overblown drums are likely me - The initial BIAB style had a really low kick that just disappeared, although the rest of the kit sounded pretty good - so I tried to push the kick drum a bit - probably went too far. I had to look up who Tom Lehrer was  . @Patrick Nice First Bart, i witness a few folks panhandling in the city each day, so i could relate to the sentiments you bring in the song. I'm glad you could relate. Thanks a lot Patrick! @Guitarhacker The lyric crafting and melody work are great. Good job on the writing. Some off the wall stuff that sounds pretty cool actually.
As I hear this....I hear vocals, piano, and drums. not much of anything else.
The drums are throwing a weird sense of timing into this. Floyd called them overblown.... I'd call them distracting. Look for a more "stable" sounding drum track and replace that distracting one with something that keeps the time and stays in the background. Perhaps even a brushes based track. The focus should be the vocals and the piano.
It kind of in a distant way, reminds me of Billy Joel's Piano Man. Listen to that song and then remix this one in a similar manner.
Your OP says there are string, bass and guitar in it. If so, they need to be turned up considerably and put into the mix in a balanced way. Thanks Herb - I love Billy Joel and Piano Man is one of my favorites to play. Don't know that I can translate what I hear into a mix - I am definitely inexperienced at mixing, need to work at that. I'll see what I can do with the drums at least. I know how I want things to sound but too many buttons and dials to play with. @boehm Nice first post. I like the drums. They attracted my attention. But as already said they distract a little from the vocals. Enjoyable listen. Good lyrics. Thanks Guenter! Drums is definitely a common theme. Thanks for the feedback. @Janice & Bud Welcome aboard. A cool write and the vocal works fine for us. Enjoyed the listen. Thanks so much to both of you! @Greg Johnson Some really interesting stuff here!! Lyrics are very creative and original, and I like the way they walk the line between humor and depth. Very different song and unusual but interesting mix of musical/lyrical content. Enjoyed it! Thanks So much Greg! @JimFogle Your mixing is better than you suspect. I was surprised to hear harmonies on your first try. Interesting lyrics. Enjoyed hearing your song. Thanks Jim! @c_fogle Like the others, I thought you wrote interesting and compelling lyrics and your arrangement was nicely done with the exception of the already noted drums. Enjoyed listening and look forward to hearing from you again soon. Thanks Charlie. Drums is the theme :-) Thanks everyone for taking the time to take a listen to a newbie. Back to the mixer (should have been a drummer instead of a keyboard guy)
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Joined: Sep 2010
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As others have already noted, it's a nice write. It treads a fine line between fantasy and harsh reality, and does it well. Mustn't... mention... drums...  Welcome to the forum!
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Joined: May 2014
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Hello Bart,
A pretty original song I must say. And not a bad entrance to the forum too.
I'm getting sort of a 'Piano Man' feel with this song. That's a good thing I guess.
Rob
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Joined: May 2008
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Greg Johnson]Some really interesting stuff here!! Lyrics are very creative and original, and I like the way they walk the line between humor and depth. +1 Welcome to the forum. (ps. Made me think of this one - Pass the Dutchie on the left hand side. LOL!) Looking forward to hearing more from you and feel free to ask questions in the other forums and have a look at some of the mixing tips there. People here are great at helping you get a handle on that.
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