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JosieC asked me a while back to write a song about the plight of the rhino and I have been waiting impatiently for my other one to get off the front page!! The nearest I have been to a rhino was in Longleat Safari Park, UK. BUT I have seen the tv progammes and the dreadful pictures and go why??? This song is about those horrific images forever etched in my mind. time runs out time runs out soon we wont see them any more you cant understand the reason why they're going but something tells you you are right and the hardest part of all are the visions inside your head that wont go away they wont disappear you see the news and hear the reports on the radio another one has gone away never to return but something tells you you are right and the hardest part of all are the visions inside your head that wont go away they wont disappear you try hard not to cry that's been done too many times before something tells you there's something you must do there's just one thing left in your life and one thing that you know c'mon now stop the slaughter they don't deserve to go time runs out soon we wont see them any more you cant understand the reason why they're going but something tells you you are right and the hardest part of all are the visions inside your head that wont go away they wont disappear don't let them go RealTracks in style: ~~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120 RealTracks in style: ~~522:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 120 RealTracks in style: ~~405:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120 RealTracks in style: ~~686:Organ, B3, Background Pop Ev 120 RealTracks in song: 854:Guitar, 12-String Acoustic, Rhythm RockWaltzA-B Ev 140 RealTracks in song: 848:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm CountryRockRiff Ev 120 (A:sync) RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^5-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride ******************* Alyn
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Alyn. I loved it. From folksy to... well, not so folksy. This is the coolest arrangement of any of the Rhino project submissions here on the forum. "the visions won't go away, won't disappear" really states how this project has touched more than one of us as we've stopped and taken a look at the rhino plight for the first time.
Enjoyed this from start to finish.
Charlie
BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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I believe that you Alyn are the only person on this forum that could pull off a song that doesn't rhyme. Brilliant! You have no fear when it comes to breaking the rules. Who made those rules anyway? A great contribution to the project. Very heartfelt and meaningful. Another good one. Love the arrangement. Tom
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Hi Alyn,
I like the lyrics and the delivery. Cool arrangement.
I wonder why the drums sound "doubled" to me.
Enjoyable listen.
Guenter
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Hi Alyn
I've been waiting impatiently for you to post so that I can tell you publicly that I love your song!
I really appreciate all the effort that has gone into these songs. The power of this forum is just completely awesome. Each and every one of you has done such terrific job. It makes my eyes water.
Today I have sent off four sponsorship proposals to big South African firms to try and get sponsorship for the initial cost of the memory stick. (We are looking at doing a memory stick in the shape of a rhino with the music preloaded). I am hoping to have the same enthusiastic response from South African business to this concept as I have had from the members of this forum.
Thank you Alyn.
Edited to add: I also sent something to Prince Harry via his website. He is getting his feet into the anti rhino poaching thing. Thanks for the suggestion Alyn.
Last edited by JosieC; 07/14/15 07:34 AM.
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
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Alyn,
A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.
The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.
Well done all around.
floyd
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Hi, Alyn. I gonna have to agree with Charlie. Cool arrangement, to be sure.  Bravo! Thanks for the music, Dan
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Alyn. I loved it. From folksy to... well, not so folksy. This is the coolest arrangement of any of the Rhino project submissions here on the forum. "the visions won't go away, won't disappear" really states how this project has touched more than one of us as we've stopped and taken a look at the rhino plight for the first time.
Enjoyed this from start to finish.
Charlie I like the "well not so folksy " bit.  The middle bit was meant to make people sit up and hopefully expressed anger. Thanks for commenting and so glad you enjoyed Alyn
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I believe that you Alyn are the only person on this forum that could pull off a song that doesn't rhyme. Brilliant! You have no fear when it comes to breaking the rules. Who made those rules anyway? A great contribution to the project. Very heartfelt and meaningful. Another good one. Love the arrangement. Tom The only rule I follow in my musical life is don't follow no rules. A variation on the great Groucho Marx saying "I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member".To be honest I didn't notice there was no rhyme  So glad you enjoyed the listen take care Alyn
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Hi Alyn,
I like the lyrics and the delivery. Cool arrangement.
I wonder why the drums sound "doubled" to me.
Enjoyable listen.
Guenter Stop wondering. The drums ARE doubled in the loud bit. I wanted to show my anger and sampled a snare from the realdrums to add on beats 1 and 3 but that didn't sound right, moving a second copy a beat did however do the trick. Well spotted! Thanks for listening and commenting Alyn
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Hi Alyn
I've been waiting impatiently for you to post so that I can tell you publicly that I love your song!
I really appreciate all the effort that has gone into these songs. The power of this forum is just completely awesome. Each and every one of you has done such terrific job. It makes my eyes water.
Today I have sent off four sponsorship proposals to big South African firms to try and get sponsorship for the initial cost of the memory stick. (We are looking at doing a memory stick in the shape of a rhino with the music preloaded). I am hoping to have the same enthusiastic response from South African business to this concept as I have had from the members of this forum.
Thank you Alyn.
Edited to add: I also sent something to Prince Harry via his website. He is getting his feet into the anti rhino poaching thing. Thanks for the suggestion Alyn. Joanne YOU were waiting impatiently, so was I! I was waiting for "Stranger" to disappear from page one, I didn't post the song because I didn't know if you wanted them posted or not. I can tell you publicly that I love your song! Thank you, thank you.* gives Joanne an internetz hug* That means such a lot to me. THANK YOU for giving me the opportunity to write it and for such a good cause. Let's hope Harry will get involved somehow Thank you so much Alyn
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Alyn,
A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.
The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.
Well done all around.
floyd If Tom hadn't mentioned it I wouldn't have noticed either!! honestly  The praise for the mix is praise indeed, coming from you! SO glad you enjoyed Alyn
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Hi, Alyn. I gonna have to agree with Charlie. Cool arrangement, to be sure. Bravo! Thanks for the music, Dan thanks for the comments, Dan, much appreciated all the best Alyn
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Fabulous Alyn. Liked the angry bit too and wouldn't have noticed the rhyme scheme as it all flows so effortlessly. Cheers.
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Fabulous Alyn. Liked the angry bit too and wouldn't have noticed the rhyme scheme as it all flows so effortlessly. Cheers.
Thanks Rich, I wanted to write a song from the heart; about how I felt and so wrote many phrases and picked the ones I felt were best to use in the song and never noticed that there was no rhyming scheme until Tom mentioned it in his comments. This is how I write anyway I never try to force rhyme, it sometimes comes naturally tho', as I write free or blank verse or prose and then put that to music. I try to paint a picture with words, and music, to convey my thoughts and emotions. An influential song was "America" by Simon and Garfunkel anyway  thanks for listening Alyn
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I really enjoyed this Alyn.
Good work sir.
Rob
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Really nice song Alyn!! I like the sparse arrangement and great build in the B section. Very heartfelt lyrics and wonderful vocal delivery. Really nice effort all around. Enjoyed it A LOT!! Take care. Greg
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That one wrings out every drop of
the emotion involved with this
issue. Powerful write that is
well delivered. Greg nailed the
word "heartfelt."
BTW, Janice has asked me a
zillion times why must it always rhyme?
Thanks for making me realize how
just well a song can work sans
a rhyme structure.
Great work.
J&B
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Nice write! I liked the way you moved from thinking to a call to action, which is a really the whole point of this sort of song.
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Hi Alyn,
Very cool song! We especially like the part
you try hard not to cry...
............deserve to go
Nice vocals there. Would have been nice to do it again at the end.
Rob and Anne-Marie
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Hi Alyn. Outstanding! The B-section took me unawares and made me sit-up and pay attention. That was a very clever arrangement strategy. You are a master at presenting the unexpected! I notice that you mentioned "America". When it comes to non-rhyming songs, you've picked one of the classics! Whenever I hear a song that doesn't rhyme and it works beautifully without the rhyme, I always ask myself, "How has this been accomplished? Why does it work?" That's how it was with "Time Runs Out". I'm still pondering those questions now as I type. You've done it incredibly well! A little more information on not rhyming... For what it's worth, a song doesn't have to have lyric rhymes to be musical. Rhymes are one way of adding musicality to words but there are other ways, too. For example, Ira Gershwin never shied away from taking a non-rhyming approach when writing lyrics for George's melodies if that's how it worked out. Have a look at the following sections of lyrics for "I Got Rhythm". I've highlighted the rhymes so that it's easier to identify them. Here's Ella singing... Ella Fitzgerald: I Got RhythmHere are the lyrics...  Notice that in Section B, the section that is the memorable and defining section of the song, there are no rhymes. The only 'nearly a rhyme' comes from repeating line 4 as line 8. It's also worth noting the following... 1. Ira used a very heavily rhymed section to lead into a non-rhyming section. This is guaranteed to make the non-rhyming section stand out. 2. The first 6 lines of Section A have a very sophisticated 3-line rhyme scheme that pulls lines 1 and 2 together by rhyming both(!) in the third line. How cool is that! 3. Section C with its XAAB rhyme scheme is left hanging unclosed from a rhyming perspective. This drives this section headlong back into the repeat of Section B. 4. The lyric comes to a close when the unrhymed and hanging word "door" in Section C meets its aural complement "more" at the end of the repeated Section B. This produces a satisfying sense of completion. Summarising... after very heavily rhyming the introductory Section A, Ira is minimalistic with his use of rhyme for the rest of the lyrics. He also does not have any rhymes in the lyrics of the song's signature section (Section B) except for the final line of lyrics rhyming with the final line of Section C. At no time do any Section B lines rhyme with other Section B lines. "Why do these lyrics of Gershwin's work? How has Gershwin added musicality to words without using rhymes?" are very eye-opening questions to think about! Seems like you're in good company! After all that, I'm now heading back for another listen to your excellent work! All the best, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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I really enjoyed this Alyn.
Good work sir.
Rob Thank YOU, Sir. thanks for listening and comenting, oh and calling me Sir I shall wear my jacket with the fake ermine collar today with pride all the best mate Alyn
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Really nice song Alyn!! I like the sparse arrangement and great build in the B section. Very heartfelt lyrics and wonderful vocal delivery. Really nice effort all around. Enjoyed it A LOT!! Take care. Greg Thank you so much, Greg. Such a sad subject needed the angry loud bit in the middle. I am so glad you liked it a lot all the best Alyn
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That one wrings out every drop of
the emotion involved with this
issue. Powerful write that is
well delivered. Greg nailed the
word "heartfelt."
BTW, Janice has asked me a
zillion times why must it always rhyme?
Thanks for making me realize how
just well a song can work sans
a rhyme structure.
Great work.
J&B Coming from you Sir, that is praise indeed. Especially as the song just sorta appeared and as I have said in my previous replies, I never noticed that there wasn't any rhyme. thanks a lot Alyn
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Nice write! I liked the way you moved from thinking to a call to action, which is a really the whole point of this sort of song. I never noticed that there was no rhyme and I definitely didn't notice the "call to action" either!!! There is something wrong with me but then I wrote the song having googled the sorry state of affairs so I wrote from the heart. Thanks for pointing that out and for enjoying, if that is a word I can use for this horror, the song best wishes Alyn
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Hi Alyn,
Very cool song! We especially like the part
you try hard not to cry...
............deserve to go
Nice vocals there. Would have been nice to do it again at the end.
Rob and Anne-Marie Yes I did think of that but I wanted the song to be 3 minutes or so, I had already cut out a verse with a nylon guitar solo which re-appears towards the end of the last verse as a response to my vocals. I am so glad you liked my angry bit. thanks for listening and commenting Alyn
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Hi Alyn. Outstanding! The B-section took me unawares and made me sit-up and pay attention. That was a very clever arrangement strategy. You are a master at presenting the unexpected! I notice that you mentioned "America". When it comes to non-rhyming songs, you've picked one of the classics! Whenever I hear a song that doesn't rhyme and it works beautifully without the rhyme, I always ask myself, "How has this been accomplished? Why does it work?" That's how it was with "Time Runs Out". I'm still pondering those questions now as I type. You've done it incredibly well! etc....Seems like you're in good company! After all that, I'm now heading back for another listen to your excellent work! All the best, Noel WOW thank you. I have ALWAYS wanted for you to dissect one of my songs, as you have just done. I have great respect for your knowledge and your ability to explain it all is impressive. You MUST be a good, nay excellent, teacher, Sir. That sounds trite in writing but if I said those words to you in person my body language would easily show my respect for you. Thank you, Noel. I am humbled. oh I now have "I got rhythm" STUCK in my brain, what a great song! thanks again and all the best. Alyn
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Alyn,
A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.
The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.
Well done all around.
floyd Yeah. I was immediately drawn in to the music and the great vibe of this before I noticed anything different about the rhyming scheme or lack thereof. Impressive indeed. Excellent production. Good luck with this.
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Alyn,
A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.
The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.
Well done all around.
floyd Yeah. I was immediately drawn in to the music and the great vibe of this before I noticed anything different about the rhyming scheme or lack thereof. Impressive indeed. Excellent production. Good luck with this. Thanks Scott, as I have also said even I didn't notice there was no rhyme and I wrote it LOL Thank you for the good luck I will pass them to Joanne (JosieC) because without her this song would not have been written All the best Alyn
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