Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360 |
Hello everyone, = This is an edited version of my original post. I made changes on the lyrics after hearing some comments on lines in which I didn't use the right words. I also changed some lines because I thought I had to, especially at the end I changed the perspective a bit more. Because of this I had to sing the song all over, but I didn't change the melody or band. Maybe a bit less reverb... I want to thank the first four listeners for 'causing' this.= I had an idea of making a (Rock)song from the perspective of (a) god who had created Earth. So I did. It is a song with a nice rhythm and nice band. The lyrics deals with that perspective. You can find it here: https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/lostI hope you like it, but let me know what you think could have been better, or was very good ;-) Hans The instrumentsStyle: _SHOCK.STY (Shock Choppy Blues Rock Solist), tempo 98 1417:Bass 3360: Guitar, Elec. Blues Rock 70s 3181: Guitar, Ac Rock 3351: Guitar, Bariton Elec, Swampy Blues Gel 95 Drums: RockHardEven8^1-a:HiHat, b:RideLoop: House-Techno-Trance\Trance - hush_lead_a_137_d.wavLoop: Chillout\Chillout - autumn_82_flute_e_minor .wav Keyboard: Elec. guitar sunburst (Native Instr.) The lyrics:Lost(c) HWBerkhout, dec 2020 If you’d seen me, I was smiling I made a world of my own If you'd heard me, I was calling; In my paradise you're not alone In my heart I cared for you all I loved humanity But you can't obey so well, as I recall That still isn't easy for me Refrain I thought Earth would be a stunning place to cherish you all there And harmony had filled your space While peace was everywhere Bridge Now my heart skips some beats since nothing went well All I wanted got misinterpreted by preachers of heavens and hell Refrain I thought Earth would be a stunning place where no one ever feels lost And harmony had filled your space but instead, despair you caused Refrain 2 I see anger and frustration got worse over time And I see wars and starvation They were no goals of mine Bridge2 Refrain 2.1 I see pain and disillusions got worse over time And I see grief and suppression They were no goals of mine Refrain 2.2 I believe you are to hurry to save your souls But I see greed and stupidity And me out of control So I think you got it I've lost... I've lost
Last edited by Birchwood; 12/06/20 02:46 AM. Reason: mistakes in lyrics
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,362
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 1,362 |
Nice song, but pretty depressive at least from the perspective of a God that wanted to do well, but somehow failed. Interesting and thought-provoking idea for a song...
Well done! Will
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,728
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,728 |
I enjoyed the song! Lyrically, the line: Not the goals that shouldisn't that well formed, but if you want to rhyme to trump content (it often does), that's your artistic decision. The ending is a bit abrupt, but I won't say I've got any better ideas for an ending.
Last edited by dcuny; 12/05/20 09:45 AM.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 420
Journeyman
|
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 420 |
Hallo Hans. This is the best that I have heard from you. Your vocals have passion and the stereo spectrum of your mix is excellent . I love that panned pulsing grungy guitar . I would have liked to hear some harmonies on the choruses and a little less reverb on your vox which , imo , takes you too far back in the mix . But this track is stellar , vox , mix . lyrics and production. Enjoyable listen. vriendelijke groeten Gary.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,279
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,279 |
STRONG voice, a little too so in a few spots due to the reverb. The line ending in should doesn't hold clear meaning - it suggests the nest line will explain/expand.
Potential replacements: Well, given the phrase it sits in that's hard one.
Not the goals I understood. The goals that withstood Not my goals: not good
etc. there's limited scope for a rhyme that'll hold context. VERY cool song and a nice band.
Cheers rayc "What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360 |
Nice song, but pretty depressive at least from the perspective of a God that wanted to do well, but somehow failed. Interesting and thought-provoking idea for a song...
Well done! Will Hi Will, long time hearing from you. It's good you're back! And yes, you are right. pretty depresive, but when I was thinking about how I would look back on my creation and it was in this shape I could be proud of myself. Of course there are always nice things to point at, but the big picture isn't that nice. But that's my point of view. But still I enjoy life (if you might wonder...)! I enjoyed the song! Lyrically, the line: Not the goals that shouldisn't that well formed, but if you want to rhyme to trump content (it often does), that's your artistic decision. The ending is a bit abrupt, but I won't say I've got any better ideas for an ending. Hi David, nice to see you back too and thanks for your comment. And you were not only right on that issue, but I knew it when writing it. I think it was Google telling me my line wasn't wrong and I was in need of a rhyme too. But I was too eager in solving my problems. I changed it and also some more lines and the plot as well! I think it is more coherent now, so thanks! Hallo Hans. This is the best that I have heard from you. Your vocals have passion and the stereo spectrum of your mix is excellent . I love that panned pulsing grungy guitar . I would have liked to hear some harmonies on the choruses and a little less reverb on your vox which , imo , takes you too far back in the mix . But this track is stellar , vox , mix . lyrics and production. Enjoyable listen. vriendelijke groeten Gary. Hi Gary, very nice of you greeting me in Dutch! and thanks for your comment on the song. I normally use more harmonies, but since nearly all my songs have more vocals in chorusses I thought to skip it this time. And there was only one 'god' involved. I could have used the angels of course, but I choose not to. I did less reverb in my remake and brought myself more upfront. I used two new plugins on the vocals (Fresh air and Trackspace) that might helped causing this issue you mentioned. They are still in, but less dominant now. Hope you will like it more (!) STRONG voice, a little too so in a few spots due to the reverb. The line ending in should doesn't hold clear meaning - it suggests the nest line will explain/expand. Potential replacements: Well, given the phrase it sits in that's hard one.
Not the goals I understood. The goals that withstood Not my goals: not good
etc. there's limited scope for a rhyme that'll hold context. VERY cool song and a nice band. Hi Ray, thanks for listening and advising on severall issues. And of course i listen to your comments, so I changed the lyrics to get more logic between the things this god noticed and compared with his goals. and because I faced it too that it is difficult to get a proper rhyme on 'good' I changed it, but not with what you proposed. Sorry for that, but I appreciated your effort very much! Hans
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,164
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,164 |
Hans,
First of all I really like the concept of this song, great idea!
And yes, if there is an entity up there looking down it must be shaking its head at the mess we have made of everything.
I didn't hear the original mix, but the vocal sounds great to me.
Track sounds great too.
One of your best I think, I enjoyed it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 6,892
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2013
Posts: 6,892 |
A cool rock song Hans!! Great feel to the music, and your vocal is one of your best! Love the sound of the band......parts just fit together really well! Nicely done!! Take care. Greg
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360 |
Hi Dave and Greg,
Thanks for your nice comments on the song and that Dave considered it to be 'one of my best'. but inspite of this I changed it again... This morning I listened to it again and I missed something in it. Then I new what it was; it was too gentle. For a god this might not be a problem, but I missed some kind of conviction in the vocals, or call it 'aggressiveness'. So that's what I did this morning, including something in the lyrics as well.
I'm not sure this behaviour of changing my songs all the time are becomming a habbit of me, but it happens more than I thought it would. But for this song it will be my last intervention. And I promise I will not come with another song this year!
So happy new year and let's hope we can leave Covid (and some other things) behind us and that we all come with nice musical creations, Hans
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2011
Posts: 4,219 |
Hans, this has a great rock sound to it. Your vocal is spot on. Nice keyboard touches. I liked the chord progression and the interesting write. Nicely done,Tom
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,730
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,730 |
Hans, Well done! A very cool BIG sound. And interesting idea and a good write. Excellent godly vocals Mix sound good - well balanced. Nice Rocker! One of your best! Cool song. fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,586
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,586 |
Wow what a cool mixs Hans. Very cool separation love the chunking guitars. Super vocal and lyric. Very creative melody and backtrack. Well done Hans. This is a favorite for sure...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,430
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,430 |
Hello Hans ...
This is your perfect niche! Strong, bold and in-your-face. Your vocal is excellent and the backing tracks are spot on. Loved everything about it. Really nice!!!
Best to you take care and be safe ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*16GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,728
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,728 |
I like this! Love the harder instrumentation for the chorus to match tone of the lyric. Good vocal performance.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,272
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,272 |
Personally, I like a song that makes you think about something that you hadn't considered. I'm not sure what was all changed but I do like what I just heard. Well done musically, performance and thought provoking.
Chad (Hope that makes it easier) TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,443
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2019
Posts: 3,443 |
"I had an idea of making a (Rock)song from the perspective of (a) god who had created Earth." Whoa, what an idea, and you developed it so well, Hans. Love the angry feel (if that makes any sense). Your voice is quite captivating. This was God's perspective after assessing his creation. Perhaps he will learn patience and realize that actually things are a lot better now then ever in human history ---well, that's how statistical humans assess it. Of course, that would mean good for humans and not God's creation. Enough of that... Your creation here is superb and cannot be disputed by anyone's assessment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 1,572
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: May 2020
Posts: 1,572 |
Hello Birchwood,
Hello Birchwood, Very philosophical composition. Why have created a hell when everyone wants love, the happiness of others but the rules are such that to survive, we must transgress our ideal daily. I appreciated your lyrics but also the melody and the arrangement which harmonizes well with your lyrics. Well done.
Kindly regards Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
Kindly regards Derochette alias JaniJackFlash
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,138
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,138 |
Amen bro'! Always been surprised he/she doesn't just squash us like an unwanted ant hill Our thoughts are simple Hans ... this is an excellent rock song. The creative lyric, your strong vocal, the effective arrangement and the cool tracks all work together so well. Love the drums and percussion. And it all sounds outstanding on our monitors! J&B
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,749
Expert
|
Expert
Joined: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,749 |
Quite a bold statement made with a big sound.
Vocals really get strong at times.
I like the song structure a lot, makes it interesting as it move along.
moto
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2016
Posts: 2,360 |
Hans, this has a great rock sound to it. Your vocal is spot on. Nice keyboard touches. I liked the chord progression and the interesting write. Nicely done,Tom Hi Tom, Thanks for your comment. I altered this song two more times after your post. I wasn't so fond of my vocals and the lyrics could do better to! I think it's better now, although you already liked it. Bad habbit of me... Hans, Well done! A very cool BIG sound. And interesting idea and a good write. Excellent godly vocals Mix sound good - well balanced. Nice Rocker! One of your best! Cool song. fj Hi Floyd, no critics on this song? While I thought it had to be. Therefore I altered it two more times. I'm joking a bit. Thanks for your very nice compliments. I showed my sons what you wrote about my 'godly' vocals. Unfortunate they were not impressed by this huge compliment. Nasty guys... Wow what a cool mixs Hans. Very cool separation love the chunking guitars. Super vocal and lyric. Very creative melody and backtrack. Well done Hans. This is a favorite for sure... Ray, what a nice compliment from a high Spirit! I hope it will not only be your favorite, but also from some more listeners. I had better times on that. But I'm very happy with the compliments I receive of course. Hello Hans ... This is your perfect niche! Strong, bold and in-your-face. Your vocal is excellent and the backing tracks are spot on. Loved everything about it. Really nice!!! Best to you take care and be safe ...
Alan Hello Alan, what nice words you wrote to me! I am not sure this is my niche (because I never wanted to be boxed), but you made me think of it and I'm still doing that. All you wrote after 'the niche' is what I want to be or do. Writing and singing about issues that matter or make us think. So maybe that is my answer on the first line; it is my niche after all... I hope you all have a very interesting new years eve and we meet again with new songs in 2021, Hans
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
The Newest RealBand 2024 Update is Here!
The newest RealBand 2024 Build 5 update is now available!
Download and install this to your RealBand 2024 for updated print options, streamlined loading and saving of .SGU & MGU (BB) files, and to add a number of program adjustments that address user-reported bugs and concerns.
This free update is available to all RealBand 2024 users. To learn more about this update and download it, head to www.pgmusic.com/support.realband.htm#20245
The Band-in-a-Box® Flash Drive Backup Option
Today (April 5) is National Flash Drive Day!
Did you know... not only can you download your Band-in-a-Box® Pro, MegaPAK, or PlusPAK purchase - you can also choose to add a flash drive backup copy with the installation files for only $15? It even comes with a Band-in-a-Box® keychain!
For the larger Band-in-a-Box® packages (UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition), the hard drive backup copy is available for only $25. This will include a preinstalled and ready to use program, along with your installation files.
Backup copies are offered during the checkout process on our website.
Already purchased your e-delivery version, and now you wish you had a backup copy? It's not too late! If your purchase was for the current version of Band-in-a-Box®, you can still reach out to our team directly to place your backup copy order!
Note: the Band-in-a-Box® keychain is only included with flash drive backup copies, and cannot be purchased separately.
Handy flash drive tip: Always try plugging in a USB device the wrong way first? If your flash drive (or other USB plug) doesn't have a symbol to indicate which way is up, look for the side with a seam on the metal connector (it only has a line across one side) - that's the side that either faces down or to the left, depending on your port placement.
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows® Today!
Update your Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows for free with build 1111!
With this update, there's more control when saving images from the Print Preview window, we've added defaults to the MultiPicker for sorting and font size, updated printing options, updated RealTracks and other content, and addressed user-reported issues with the StylePicker, MIDI Soloists, key signature changes, and more!
Learn more about this free update for Band-in-a-Box® 2024 for Windows at www.pgmusic.com/support_windowsupdates.htm#1111
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,779
Posts737,293
Members38,580
|
Most Online2,537 Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|