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Joined: Dec 2007
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Hi Everyone, I wrote this song some years ago. When I used to go for lunch I always saw this girl sitting on the pavement outside the big shops. She was beautiful but so sad begging for money. I thought that under different circumstances her life could have been so different - hence song. It was semi-finalist in UK Song Competition 2008. http://www.box.net/shared/l99xavy62oCity Girl Verse 1 Bm G Why do you sit so alone each day in that spot? Bm G Your blue eyes sparkle even with your sadness A Bm Are you twisted like a gordian knot A Bm Youth & sorrow - so sad F#m You could be a lady A A lady of grace F#m A royal queen A A queen of our race CHORUS E F#m City girl do you see me as I pass your spot E F#m One day we might smile and say hello E F#m But tomorrow you may be gone, unfairly so G F#m Since I suppose you've no where to go VERSE 2 Bm G You're in my head an image changing over time Bm G A collage of colours flashing in my mind A Bm You sit alone in your silk so fine A Bm Young and apart - so grand F#m You could be a lady A A lady on high F#m A royal queen A A queen of the sky CHORUS VERSE 3 Bm G Do you know that you've been seen many times before Bm G You frequent all the capitals of the world A Bm A life enclosed without a door A Bm Lost and inward - so strange F#m You could be a lady A A lady of worth F#m A royal queen A A queen of this earth CHORUS VERSE 4 Bm G Can either of us know what's real for the other one Bm G Far less predict the thoughts that will come next A Bm We live to gamble - it's no fun A Bm In this way I'm just like you F#m You could be a lady A A lady in debt F#m A royal queen A A queen of roulette CODA E F#m City girl do you see me as I pass you by E F#m To day we might smile and say goodbye E F#m And tomorrow you could be gone, another tie G F#m A new life could then just have begun Hope you enjoy it and any comments much appreciated Jim
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Joined: Feb 2005
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Nice work! Very nice melody. Well done! Thanks for sharing! Listen To My MusicRead My Blog
My TunesPsalm 57:7 My heart, O God, is steadfast, my heart is steadfast; I will sing and make music.
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Joined: Dec 2002
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Expert
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 1,197 |
Hi Jim,
Once again you've written a very poignant song.
I like this song as it makes you think about people you would normally walk right past.
I would have liked to hear a small instrumental taking place of one of the verse breaks just to give it more colour.
Keep up the good work.
Best regards
michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2023 1006, Realband 2023 (1)
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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Joined: Aug 2000
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Well done Mate. Has a well laid out arrangement. I think I would have added harmony on the chorus's. Maybe do a build up of each chorus. None on the 1st. Parts on the 2nd. Full in the rest of 'em.
Good on ya Jim. I like it.
Russ Anyday above ground is a good day Computer is Hp Pavillion Vision 6 Ghz quad core AMD processor 8 Gig memory 1 TB hard drive 6 GB hard drive Windows 7 Premium Loose nut behind the keyboard 
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Wow, great lyrics with an outstanding vocal and very good backing track.
I agree with Russ that harmonies during the chorus would be a nice addition. Also I would like to hear a more intricate and/or varying leads between the chorus and the verses. That would put it over the top for me. However this is excellent as is and it’s going into my keeper folder.
I just posted a selfie and all of the responses were get well soon!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Dec 2007
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Hi PgFantastic, Michee, Russ and Mario,
Thank you all for your kind comments and pleased you liked the song.
I think the idea of adding harmony during the chorus and also giving variation to the solos in between the verses are great suggestions. I will do this as I am sure it will improve the song.
Thank you all for listening
Jim
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Joined: Mar 2010
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Hi Jim,
I enjoyed listening to that! It's always interesting to me to hear other writers work and 'the story' behind the song!
Can I ask, how did you create the backing track and record the vocal?
Regards,
Frank
New to BIAB and just got hold of a 2007 Megapak... but I have been writing songs for quite awhile... most of them hits (of course..) :-)
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Hi Frank,
This was done on the Yamaha Claviniva CVP309 - drum backing track from BIAB and a guitar track from a style, other tracks I played in myself and recorded into Garageband. The vocal was also done on the Clavonova and recorded as a separate track into Garageband.
Thanks for listening and I am pleased that you enjoyed the song.
Regards
Jim
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Hi again Jim,
Thanks for the detailed explanation! Fascinating for a BIAB newbie like me! I can tell your song is written from the heart, that's the best place! I shall listen again now!
Frank
New to BIAB and just got hold of a 2007 Megapak... but I have been writing songs for quite awhile... most of them hits (of course..) :-)
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Hi Frank,
Thanks again and enjoy
Jim
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Very nice melody.Thanks for sharing your life personal experience with us.It' s really a very interesting theme.
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Joined: Mar 2009
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Very nice. Harmony might add variety - but it is a personal story - maybe just coming from you is the best way. Put the variety between the verses.
Thanks for sharing
The Powderman
Learning something new everyday
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Hi quran and Powderman
Thanks for listening and pleased to liked the song.
I agree a bit more variety between verses will add interest and i will do this.
Thanks again
Jim
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Nice melody,so touching...
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Hi Bill,
Very pleased you liked it Bill and thanks for listening
Jim
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