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rayc Offline OP
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Hello Folks,
the vocals are pre comping & tuning.
BIAB supplied the drums, RealDrums in style:RockHard^03-a:Open Hat, Snare, b:Ride, Snare
(may need some variety in the B sections)
Written & structured in BIAB and tracked with the DAW plug in telling where n when to do things.
Bass is a Hofner knock off through a BDI21
Guitar is a Squire Bullet Mustang through a Marshall Superbass with some fuzz used with the "lead".
Tracked n mixed in Reaper as usual...everything is as usual I suppose.

March 23

Here's a slightly tidier version - I've used the 1st vocal to reduce the confusion.
I've also upped the bass drum definition a bit.
Otherwise the same I suppose BUT less of a mud fight and the melody is a little clearer.

March24

New vocals - not comped yet.

Lyric:
INTRO
verse 1
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 still do these things
5 still say these things?
5 Am I too old now?

chorus 1
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I know
4 The more I show
6 That more or less
3 No more can I
4 Keep sitting still
3 (I) have to know
3 (I) have to grow
3 (I) have to sow

verse 2
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 want to be heard
5 still say the word?
5 Am I too old now?

chorus 2
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I speak
4 The more I tweak
6 That more or less
3 The more I throw
4 I can't sit still
3 The overflow
3 To foreshadow
3 Both friend and foe

verse 3
6 (I) don't know what to do when
4 they ask why I
5 still make a noise
5 still play these toys?
5 Am I too old now?
4 Should I stop?

solo

chorus 4
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I see
4 Hyperbole
6 That more or less
3 The more I go
4 Not standing still
3 (I) have to taste
3 (I) will not waste
3 (I) am in haste


chorus 5
7 The best that I can do is
4 The more I fight
4 Against the night
6 That more or less
3 No more is best
4 Not lying still
3 Before I die
3 And putrefy
3 It's clear that I Won't


ANY and all comments, suggestions, castigation and passive aggressive expositions welcome and wanted.


Last edited by rayc; 03/24/22 09:25 PM.

Cheers
rayc
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Hey, I love that ending, with the frenzied little drum bit in the coda. And the spirit of the lyric is awesome, big big points for using "putrify" and even rhyming it.

Otherwise, trying to make sense of my own listening reactions...

This kind of goes on in, as you say, a grumbly way that is recognizably melodic but doesn't really sound it. I think it might work better sung higher up. Or as a duet with Lady Gaga. I want to hear that melody because I know it's there.

Looking forward to future developments.

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ray,

Don't Ever Stop.
Someone still needs to cry the truth.
The toys still work well.

A good balance in the mix.
Drums are Cool! (do they include that snare-on-every-beat? or did you have to build that?)
A terrific guitar sound across the field. Solid.
Bass is crisp and punchy.
Good vocals (some nice "anger" - though they could use even more...).

A cool, thought-provoking write.

Never Stop.

fj

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Oooh.. we like this kind of song!
Maybe there are a some very low notes you'd better sing a tiny little bit higher blush
But that's all, we enjoyed this one very much.

Rob and Anne-Marie


We are Rob Meulman and Anne-Marie Bovenkamp from The Netherlands.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC1gsdNLE7_Gy8qavoOplQow/videos
http://rnam.net/


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This version seemed to flow better for me. What a difference a day makes!

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For some reason I hear a chorus of schoolboys joining in.

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Hi, Ray.

To my "too old" ears, the vocal sounds a bit low and difficult to make out.

Love the sound and vocals.


-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?
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Originally Posted By: Mark Hayes
Hey, I love that ending, with the frenzied little drum bit in the coda. And the spirit of the lyric is awesome, big big points for using "putrify" and even rhyming it.

Otherwise, trying to make sense of my own listening reactions...

This kind of goes on in, as you say, a grumbly way that is recognizably melodic but doesn't really sound it. I think it might work better sung higher up. Or as a duet with Lady Gaga. I want to hear that melody because I know it's there.

Looking forward to future developments.

Thanks mark,
I've retracked to try to get the shambolic "melody" a bit clearer for you.


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rayc
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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
ray,
Don't Ever Stop.
Someone still needs to cry the truth.
The toys still work well.
A good balance in the mix.
Drums are Cool! (do they include that snare-on-every-beat? or did you have to build that?)
A terrific guitar sound across the field. Solid.
Bass is crisp and punchy.
Good vocals (some nice "anger" - though they could use even more...).
A cool, thought-provoking write.
Never Stop.
fj

Thanks Floyd,
The drums are straight from the box with some added seasoning only. I do think I need to break up the relentless chorus snare though...just a little.
I've retracked vocals a little more aggressively but I couldn't manage "angry"....must be years of talking with children...the clearly hostile aspects have been removed.


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rayc
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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Oooh.. we like this kind of song!
Maybe there are a some very low notes you'd better sing a tiny little bit higher blush
But that's all, we enjoyed this one very much.

Rob and Anne-Marie

Thanks Rob n Anne-Marie,
Yes, I was auditioning for Pancake Day on a quite a few notes.


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rayc
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Originally Posted By: bloc-head
This version seemed to flow better for me. What a difference a day makes!


AND another day bloc-head...I hope. Thanks.


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rayc
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Originally Posted By: Mark Hayes
For some reason I hear a chorus of schoolboys joining in.

Interesting idea but it made me think of that odious Pink Floyd Wall single so I'll have to pass...that was elite young men being curmudgeonly before their time.


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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Hi, Ray.

To my "too old" ears, the vocal sounds a bit low and difficult to make out.

Love the sound and vocals.

dc,
Thanks, I THINK the latest mix may have addressed that issue.


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Listened to each one and I really enjoy the constant improvement. Of course the last one I listened to twice so far. Yes, your voice is perfect out front like that. Right from the title I knew it would be a treat. You know I'd love that aggressive bass. It makes the song [as often a bass will wink ]


Enjoy whatever happens!
marty

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I listened to the latest one

I was not to old to thoroughly enjoy it

I liked the groove and your vocal

The mix was great as were the lyrics

Two thumbs up


I just posted a selfie and all of the responses were get well soon!

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Currently playing "New vocals - not comped yet."

That opening STOP is absolutely killer, a vocal firecracker that does just the opposite of what it says, kicks off a super-energized piece that totally lives up to its promise. This thing is great, please mix and serve!

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Hi Ray,

I think I prefered your former songs more. Here you are hiding your vocals again behind the instruments.
That's a pity, because the lyrics deserve a brighter and louder voice and -for me- even harmonics or doubles.
The band is also not really expressive. No instrument claimed attention.
If I may give this song a color, it would be close to grey.
Sorry for this and I fear I make you angry, but because I've heard many good sounding songs from you, I know you can do better, much better.
But... I only heard March 24 and not the previous one.

And yes, I liked the lyrics, brought like a machinegun!

When do we drink a rum together?
Hans


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(Birchwood)
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130
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The latest version is excellent. A truly cohesive mix. All the parts blend perfectly into "a sound" - a good one.
Stick a fork in it.

fj

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The vocal definitely sounds better on the March 25 version. It was difficult to make it out in the March 24 version. My ears are terrible but the instrument appears much better too and I can make out the individual instruments. I like the song and the ending. which made my tinnitus disappear temporarily. cool

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Ray,
Sweet! Excellent job on putting this together. Last one is the winner for me. I would just complete it, using same setting and call it done. It does sound good. It is your call of course, but I would not put vocals deeper in the mix. They are in a good position. Don't overthink it smile
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

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