After a couple of louder songs, I decided to write a soft ballad and all was going well until I came up with this weird synthesizer arpeggio in the chorus. It sounds awful, lo-fi, discordant, out of place, but I couldn't stop listening to it over and over again. It's like one of those horrible car crashes that we desperately try not to look at, but do. It's really f*cked up ... and a song title was born. Good bye love song, hello problems.
The song is about a girl who only sees the bad and negative things in the world, and a seemingly good girl who only wants to see the good things. Of course, closing your eyes and hoping the bad things will go away has never helped anyone, and in the end she shoots the messenger to make the bad things disappear. An approach that is unfortunately used too often these days (see Snowden, Assange, Manning et al).
No idea if this story works as a song or if I'd better make a movie out of it. I think the lyrics are okay-ish, but I'm not sure if the tracks are not just a little bit too over the top. You guys will tell me.
The f-words are not my fault, the singer changed the lyrics behind my back. Really! Bad girl...
Feedback (the good, the bad and the ugly) as always highly appreciated. I'm here to learn!
As always, a BIG "thank you" to Marty for linguistic advice.
Some technical information: Style: FLIPSID.STY
The band: Bass: 4363 Drums: PraiseWorshipUptempo16 Piano: 1533 Guitars: 4387, 658, 3931 + yours truly Synthesizers: me, myself and I
Vocals: Natalie and Solaria + BG vocals Cong and Weina
(Chorus 1 Natalie) A f*cked up song About a f*cked up world Sung for you By a f*cked up girl Wars and bombs and death and pain Tears of children form a bloody rain
(Verse 1 Natalie) Wealthy assh*les pull the strings They milk money out of everything From me and you Every little bit And get away with it
Building weapons against the poor Those already on the floor Drones of democracy sting And make the weapon builders sing Happy stakeholders Smash lives like hammers boulders And no one cares about the suffering (Chorus 2 Solaria) It's a beautiful world I can help you see So beautiful, it's in you and me Wars and bombs and death and pain Close your eyes and they will go away
No need to give up your ideals No need to give up on your dreams There's nothing they can do To take our love away
(Verse 2 Solaria) There's something good in everything bad For every love lost, there's a love you had Don't be afraid, don't lose your mind There's always someone good, someone kind
(Chorus 3 Natalie + Solaria) A f*cked up song About a f*cked up world So beautiful, it's in you and me Wars and bombs and death and pain Close your eyes and you'll see bloody rain
(Bridge) Looks of ice and hearts of stone You stand in a crowd and feel alone A vulnerable mind is seen as weak Like someone odd Like a creepy freak
(Chorus 4 Natalie) A f*cked up song About a f*cked up world Sung for you By a f*cked up girl Wars and bombs and death and pain Tears of children form a bloody rain
(Chorus 5 Solaria) No, it's a beautiful world I can help you see So beautiful, it's in you and me Wars and bombs and death and pain Close your eyes and they will go away
No need to give up your ideals No need to give up on your dreams There's nothing they can do To take our love away
(Outro Solaria) There's something good in everything bad For every love lost, there's a love you had Don't be afraid, don't lose your mind
Last edited by B.D.Thomas; 12/09/2303:25 PM. Reason: Lyrics added
Well man, I don't know what to say. There comes an inflection point of fake music meets fake lyrics meets fake voices where I kinda just don't feel anything.
Sounds like you are having a good time though, and since we are all going to die tomorrow in a horrible gasoline fire and be resurrected as robots that is all we have for fun I guess, until the blackness of the blackest Christmas comes to gouge our eyeballs out.
Merry Christmas though.
David Snyder Songwriter/Renaissance Man Studio + Fingers
Like the dynamics of the arrangement, and the arpeggiator is very cool. The 2nd vocaloid sounds fine, but I don't care for the more robotic sounding 1st one. (Sorry, I can't tell their names) Now about those lyrics...There are plenty of genres where the f-word can just slide right in. In a pretty ballad though, the use of the f-word makes the song sound like an adult joke, or a parody. This may be your intent, I don't know. But at a minimum, the f-word will polarize your audience, for better or worse. Anyway, enjoyed the listen, and all the best on this musical journey!
DC Ron BiaB Audiophile Presonus Studio One StudioCat DAW dual screen Presonus Faderport 16 Too many guitars (is that a thing?)
I was hoping you would be more specific about what you liked or didn't like so I could improve. But anyway, I appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment
Well man, I don't know what to say. There comes an inflection point of fake music meets fake lyrics meets fake voices where I kinda just don't feel anything.
I don't quite understand what you're talking about, David.
The voices are artificial, we all know that by now.
Fake music? We're in the BIAB showcase, so I'm not even allowed to release songs that weren't made with BIAB (or RealBand).
What are a "fake lyrics"? Do you mean something like "fake news" that tells about things that are not true?
Or do you mean lyrics from ChatGTP? Unlike you (and half of Memphis, if you believe the rumors you hear everywhere), I don't use ChatGTP for my lyrics. Firstly, I enjoy writing lyrics WAY too much to leave it to someone else, and secondly, ChatGTP's results are so atypical of how I express myself that they are useless, at least to me. I tried it a few moons ago and was very disappointed. But it could very well be that my lyrics would be better with it, though
Anyway, thanks for listening and your feedback. Much appreciated.
Oh, I am sorry B.D., I thought the joke about the voices taking over was a reference to AI.
But, I guess the vulgarity is not quite my cup of tea, especially if it comes across as gratuitous, but that is just me. I kinda recoil.
Maybe I am a prude and that would be my fault. Maybe I should go listen to some Donny and Marie.
I should probably not weigh in on AI music because I don't understand it. I have no knowledge of it but I am sure there is expertise on display here. And you did play some, so that is cool.
In general though, if EVERYTHING is somehow sounding robotic--the music, the singing, the lyrics, etc--and the human intervention element seems to have completely disappeared, I just don't feel anything. I feel like I am listening to a chatbot producing a song and I don't know what to say. Literally. I just don't know what to say.
Again, that probably is just me because obviously a lot of people love this stuff, so pay no attention to the grumpy man behind the curtain (me).
Just my reaction is all. Please keep doing what pleases YOU.
I realize you have expertise here.
Happy Holidays.
David Snyder Songwriter/Renaissance Man Studio + Fingers
BD, you are really getting so good at these synth vocals. I like the contrast between the two, and the music goes with them. Good control of the presentation with the dynamic changes. You can always expect controversy when you're being controversial. You are good at that, too.
First of all a very well thought out and produced song as I've come to expect from you. I also like the concept of the two different approaches to looking at world issues.
I think however the bad girl could have made her point without dropping all the F-bombs. But then I'm old and set in my ways
Very well done. Your work with "the voices" is impressive. Better and better all the time. An excellent production. Nice to see/hear someone doing music that sounds like it was created today. A nice flow. Interesting instrument choices. And a Good Mix.
The language you have chosen seemed appropriate for the song/story/message. I have described the world that way myself. It gets more so all the time. And there are a number of people I would describe that way as well. So why should it be objectionable when used in a song? Music is art. It should reflect the world as it is today. And push it's limits.
Otherwise we would all be playing music like Lawrence Welk (And singing "One Toke Over The Line" thinking it was a church song - a "modern spiritual" as Larry says...
[video:youtube-small] [/video]
We could use a few more envelope pushers around here.
I don't understand why people get so upset about the f-word when they should be upset about war, bombs, death & bloody rain - especially when the f-word is used as a synonym for those bad things and not as malice or crudity...
I really like the idea of the song. Reactions and censorship just prove the point of the title. There are people who are angry because of injustice in the world and that is not fake news. Then there are those who want to close their eyes: pure dreamers, those who want to downplay the wrongs and those who deny it all by talking about fake news - and then, as appropriately described, they shoot/jail/hospitalize the messenger instead of fixing anything. You have clearly expressed your idea in excellent lyrics with pearls like "A vulnerable mind is seen as weak/Like someone odd/Like a creepy freak" Good angry rock song, very nice chorus melody. Pleasant mix - good bass and yes the arpeggio works, piano is surprising, but very good addition to the band.
And Natalie shines, I love Natalie's low register and you have really used that as a powerful weapon in the song.
Hey perhaps I should apologize here, since I may have come across as the biggest prude, which is a role I do not usually play, for sure.
I went back and listened to the song two more times through to see if I had missed something.
Here is the question B.D. asked:
"No idea if this story works as a song or if I'd better make a movie out of it. I think the lyrics are okay-ish, but I'm not sure if the tracks are not just a little bit too over the top. You guys will tell me."
In retrospect, there are some really cool things going on here, and the lyrics definitely describe the current world. Dead on.
I would be the last person to restrict artistic freedom, because I know I have done some crazy stuff here. I say have it, everybody. Do what you want.
BUT, B.D. did ask if any one thought it might be "over the top" in any way and wanted to know how it affected them. He also asked if we thought it "worked" as a song because he was not sure.
Upon a complete third listen, very carefully, I have to say, there is some really cool stuff going on here.
BUT, for some reason, the setup at the beginning made it a little difficult for me as a listener to really get into it.
That is not to say the song is "bad." To another, it may be the greatest song ever written, and deservedly so,
But I was asked as listener, if, in essence, I felt any "barriers to entry": specifically, by the OP.
And my answer, for whatever it is worth, is YES.
I guess until I gave it another try.
AND, I think a discussion that is likely to continue as the years go by will be: "How much AI/synth in a song is too much before YOU, individually, as a listener, begin to tune out?"
If we can't discuss that globally perhaps committees need to be created for certain people who have more expertise in certain genres.
I have zero expertise with songs that are mostly synth-based, so I probably have no business giving feedback on them.
David Snyder Songwriter/Renaissance Man Studio + Fingers
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