I've decided against mixing. I'm mobility challenged, and deaf. Probably a no brainer eh? But the people who do it are 'black art' types. You can't learn it. You can't teach it. You need 4 cars in the drive with bad wheels but good sound systems. They don't have to work. Just the stereos. Heck I can't get out if the house, too much ice. I forgot to get a pick for my cane, it attaches on the bottom for the winter so you can do snow and ice. The other thing is you need one of those sound systems with speakers the size of small pianos to try it on. And a Bose for fun. Not to mention trips to the local mall to try it there, and perhaps, if you can book a slot, a 15 minute trial at Carnegie Hall.

Now bear in mind before that, you MUST have the audiophile version. Who'd go to the master step with less? Nuts. Add to that the Garritan stuff, ALL of it. 3 outboard synths. And you can't Master in Band in a Box, and RealBand, (You need it, it's a tool).

Now I figure you need a screamer computer, about 5k.
That's only for the PC, you must have a MAC. Every tune, every idea, and every bit of cinema, art, etc. All Mac stuff, just ask them.
2 copies of some expensive thing like Sibelius.
2 copies of some mixing software, latest version.
1 k for PG software.
2 k for those speakers in front of you that are NOT for listening to music. They are flat field monitors, chosen because they sound crappy. Can't do music but a must for mixing.
And the most expensive headphones you can find for mixing. Again, not for music, just mixing. You havn't done much yet but at least 15k or more so far.

Now you need years of experience, and you need to have a big soundboard for side chaining, and once you have your 12 today, 24 tommorrow, and 'cmon, you have to have 48 tracks right? And the room needs to be dead, forget the local funeral home, you have to put stuff on the walls to stop the sound, because you only want to hear it on speakers not good for listening to music, and headphones just in case.

Now once you get part way, run out to the driveway. Here it's against the law to idle your car longer than 10 minutes except if the outdoor temperature equals the temperature of the breath of one of the left wing women on city council. Cold.

Then you run around sticking your potential cd in everyones thing, and after that, you go back and tweak.

Once you are 'done', you invite all and sundry over to your house, stick that CD into your old boom box with sand from the last beach trip 12 years ago and crank your loops for the whole family to praise, while you send out copies to every Nashville producer and artist. You don't get a thank-you, but your CD's are being used at a Nashville soup kitchen to keep the formica from getting stained by coffee cups.

As to me, I'm letting the box play old Sinatra tunes, oblivious to the fact that my Bose stick is messing up the stereo field, and NOT one Master who baits us on the forum, dares come and tell me I'm missing the overtones at 3k. See I don't even hear, with any amplification, anything above 2900 hz so I'm just gonna smile and enjoy.

Where's my Perry Como collection, Paul Anka's too hip for me!

NOTE: There is humour in the above post. In Canada humour includes you twice, because you have to have a lot when you live here. I'm off to check the temperature to see if I can warm up the car or if I have to drive it with 2 inches of ice. Occupy Key West. Now.


John Conley
Musica est vita