I think the vocals fit the lyrics... "I've been drinkin'...". I kind of like that. If that is not what was intended, you may want to practice the vocals a few times prior to recording. Or, use the recorder to help you target the places you need to improve.

All in all it's not any worse than most of the stuff posted here. Listen to some of the well regarded stuff on this forum. Listen to mine.

The reason you did not get any replies is you are not part of the "Mutual Admiration Society".

If you look around at the songs that are commented on, you will notice a trend... A small core group of people that tell each other how great their new stuff is. They don't generally comment on outsiders stuff.

If you want to be included in the group, you must positively comment on every lousy song they post. They will then dutifully tell you how great every lousy song of yours is.

Fun, huh?

If you are looking for help improving your skills, you've come to the wrong place. Go find a songwriters forum.