Based on my own and countless others' experience with substandard axes and well-meaning but ill-informed parental involvement, my son's first personal instrument was a Squier Strat which I picked out of several for sound and playability, along with a used Fender 40-watt amp with a 12-inch speaker.

I took him shopping with me at Guitar Center. He wanted a cheap but cool-looking B.C Rich that we saw. Even though he couldn't play, I made him handle the Strat first, on which the neck and action were very good. The neck on the Rich felt like a 2x4, with action to match. Even he could tell the difference and agreed that the Squier was the better choice. It had a transparent red finish, unusual for an inexpensive ($150) knockoff, even if it was a Fender.

I was famous in my little family for buying Christmas gifts for the children while they were present without their knowing. This was no different, although it was the last time I was able to pull that off. We went out to the car without having made a purchase. I said I had forgotten my checkbook inside, then went back in and did the deal, with my son none the wiser. I picked up the rig a couple of days later.

It showed up under the tree with the amp and all necessary accessories, including a Roland stomp box chorus. The look on his face was priceless. I told him that if he had been able to play he could have started gigging immediately. He still had no idea just how good the guitar was until I told him in all sincerity that I might want to borrow it some time. That impressed him.

Part of the deal was that I would give him lessons. Within a few weeks he was playing rhythm to my blues leads. Not long after that he played in public at a school function. The whole thing was an incredible bonding experience which we both enjoyed immensely.

"My primary musical instrument is the personal computer."