Originally Posted By: dcuny
It sounds you've got a noise gate on your vocal, because your vocal is abruptly cut at the end of each phrase. It wouldn't be as noticeable, except that it cuts the reverb as well. If you modified the chain so that reverb was applied last, that would probably take care of it.

Since floyd has already broached the topic of lyrics (that's usually my impolitic faux pas) I'll just mention that I really like the "deal me in" idea, and I think it's would make a stronger idea to build the song around.

Whenever I hear a word like contagious in a song, it immediately sets up a guessing game for me - will the writer go with outrageous, courageous or perhaps turn the pages?

But when you sang "And you hold all the aces" I thought... Hrm... He's gone back to the card metaphor. But if she holds all the aces, he really should fold."

Anyway, a bold word choice like "contagious" just begs for a strong response. You let me down, man! wink

I'm being really naughty here, so I may as well go all in and mention that designer jeans is one of those songwriting cliches that you probably should avoid like the plague.

And while there are no real rules to songwriting other than "if it sounds good, it is good", asking my pea-sized brain to deal with with a card metaphor and a painting metaphor in one song is too much. I'm suddenly in fear that the next verse introduce another metaphor to keep track of...

The first half of the chorus sounds a lot like Read 'Em and Weep (Jim Steinman, James Richard Steinman). I know that's the worst thing ever to say to a songwriter, so sorry.

OK, I've been way too critical. I'll stand in the corner and give myself a time out.

Did I remember to mention that I liked the song? I probably shouldn't have saved that until the end. laugh


Thanks so much for weighing in, I really like that you have a good ear for sound and for lyrics. The vocal clearly needs to be re-recorded, see some of the responses above, I've learned better recording technics as I go along. Whoever thought that we'd become our own engineers and producers at home? I certainly started from scratch. Sorry I let you down with the rhyme for contagious ( I was almost too embarrassed to sing that). I don't like perfect rhyme if I can avoid it (does that make me a snob?) too many times I listen to someone's song and think that they forced a line into the song just to get a nice rhyme. I usually write out all my lines to get the story and then notice that I have no rhymes, then go looking for family or near rhymes. This was definetly an if it feels good go with it song, trying to write a modern day country pop drug store cowboy song (there's a title!). I value your input very much my friend, no time out necessary. (PS, I'm holding a straight flush, so I ain't afraid o no aces) Thanks,
Kenny

Last edited by 44kfl; 09/13/15 05:16 PM.