Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Noel,

What a fascinating rhyme scheme! I listened a number of times marveling at how well you did that. The story is nicely developed, as well - providing insight into both her history and her feelings.

I like how you use the same first line in each of your verses as a jumping point to where you wanted to take us. The two bridges (others called them choruses - but I thought them more as bridges) were nice - I like the parenthetic phrases you used - "She says to the ocean" and "And if she has to"... really made the bridges "breathe"...

The production moved the story along nicely, too. The simple 1st verse to the more full 2nd. The nylon lead was especially well put together...sounded custom played...

Your vocals always stay in my head long after hearing the song.

Well done.

fj


Floyd, thanks yet again for taking the time. I always enjoy reading about your listening experience. As mentioned in my reply to Videotrack, I accidentally landed on the rhyme scheme while looking through poetry one day. It appealed to me.

I wrote the lyrics first with this one and I wrote it to a picture in my mind. Originally it was the image of an 18th century woman on a cliff at the edge of the bay scanning the horizon for her husbands clipper. I used to enjoy watching the BBC production called the "Onedin Line" back in the 1970s. It was set in the days of shipping lines and sailing the high seas. This was the setting I had in mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbUZrl7tU08

Then, when looking for an image to complement the lyrics, I came across beach scenes that fitted so I changed the setting from cliff to beach. All else stayed the same. It worked so I left it.

Thanks once more for taking the time.

All the best,
Noel

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2024