Hello forum friends! One of the things I like almost as much as music is humor. I rarely mix the two....this song being a rare exception. One day I woke up and this line came into my head (title). I thought that was really weird but I decided I was just going to write and see what happened. This did. Hope you get a chuckle out of it. I'd love to hear your feedback. Take care. Greg


https://soundcloud.com/gjohnson-2/ifiwasadog
IF I WAS A DOG

If I was a dog, I’d be free as the breeze

Wanderin’ ‘round markin’ mailboxes and trees

Just one of the mutts, playing tag, sniffin’ butts

Not tryin’ to be crude, but I’d have dog attitude


If she was a dog, she’d have a fine pedigree

Spend long afternoons with the ladies at tea

Have papers that linked her to the most regal hounds

The upper of the uppermost crust to be found



We’d have no more in common than Juliet and Romeo

The scourge of the pound and the best in the show



If I had a master, he’d sleep in his van

Smoke cigarettes, drink beer straight from the can

Wear dirty T-shirts and have vulgar tattoos

Yellow teeth, uncombed hair, and wear trashy old shoes



Her master would be the quintessential success

Well-bred, educated, and impeccably dressed

And she herself, I fine dog, would be smothered in riches

And be seen at the park with the finest of [*****]

(remember, were talkin’ about dogs here)



In this protracted metaphor, you may find no surprises

But, then again, certainly one question arises

Of all the proverbial fish in the sea

What the hell is she doin’ with me?