Hi Joise

What a brilliant song! Right from the outset the groove pulled me into the mix. There's no doubt about it, you're an outstanding songwriter and singer. Your lyrics were really well crafted. I liked the conversational tone you managed and I found myself thinking, "Wow! Pat Pattison would be incredibly impressed with the way that you've used assonance and consonance in place of perfect rhyme." In my opinion, your song is a skillful example of lyric writing tools being used to enhance a song's emotion. You've really nailed the "not quite over you yet" feeling of the central character: I heard what she was saying about "not missing you" but I didn't, at any time, believe her. As you've shown so well, lyric structure can do that. It reminded me of the song, "Really Can't Be Gone" by Tim McGraw. This song employed a similar approach to lyrics as yours and, again, lyric structure was used to enhance disbelief. If you're interested, here's the link for it...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmbv9IMroM8

There is absolutely nothing that I'd change. The song, the mix, the singing and the production are all top notch and ready for radio in my opinion. If you hadn't told me, I wouldn't have known that you'd used compression on your voice. The sound was crystal clear and completely natural.

I'm waiting for the next song now!
Noel

P.S. Josie, I have just re-read (and, as a consequence, edited) my post. I apologize if my referring to Pat sounded a bit patronizing. I meant it as a compliment. I have a huge respect for Prof. Pattison from Berklee College. I believe that he's one of the world's top gurus when it comes to lyrics. In about a month's time, I'll be going to my 8th or 9th weekend seminar with him!

Last edited by Noel96; 05/23/10 03:40 AM.
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