Ok, Eddie - how's this for comparison:

  • I have not managed to generate ANY income since 28/11/11 (five months).
  • I have been evicted from my flat and have to find a new one before 14/08/12.
  • I have NO capital resources left - all my investments turned sour in the end and now I have nothing. All thanks to the world economic crisis (heck, there are whole countries, even in Europe, that are effectively bankrupt - I am just one man). I know I am not alone in this. Thank God I have no dependents.
  • I can't find work of ANY description (I have 19 qualifications and a whole load of experience in a number of different fields, including education and training).
  • I have had 2 major surgical operations in the last 6 years - I am STILL recovering from the former of these, which was a gut operation to remove about two feet of my large intestine to remove a benign tumor (I have damned annoying side effects that persist including flatulence and erectile disfunction and tissue desensitization), and am looking at a repeat of the latter, an operation on my spine to relieve tension caused by scoliosis, since birth, that has led to ossification of the neural apertures resulting in atrophy of muscles in the limb extremities (hands and feet) plus recurrent muscle cramps and desensitization of the skin. I am in constant pain - but at least constant pain is constant and I can block it out on the whole
  • I have COPD and am on 10 meds a day for all my health problems. That fact alone is totally depressing.
  • The employment office tells me they consider me to be unfit for work on health grounds and that I should go into early retirement - but I do not qualify for this because I do not have enough national insurance contributions, having always been entrepreneurial and struggling to set up my own businesses and find freelance opportunities
  • I live in a climate that is not good for my health - I cannot take too much heat because of a collapsed thyroid.
  • The love of my life left in 2008 and since 2009 I have been involved, against my better judgement, with a deranged she-devil whose ultimate aim is to bully me into submission and subjugation with a constant tirade of insults and derogatory remarks.
  • My dog, my faithful adorable hound and constant companion, died of either a burst tumor or poisoning on March 6th 2011, aged 11. Since then I am constantly alone.
  • My father is a millionnaire and has absolutely NO interest in helping me whatsoever. No, I have done NOTHING wrong and I am NOT a black sheep. HE is a miser.
  • My social life is effectively non-existent as I can no longer afford to go out.
  • I am slowly being driven insane by all that is happening to and around me.
  • I can't sleep anymore


To put all this into perspective: I am by nature a high achiever; I have a family pedigree stretching back many many generations of high achievers and history makers (bankers, politicians, generals, merchants, financiers, cattle barons, etc); I was educated, as a scholar, at the same schools as Sir Winston Churchill; I have 3 university degrees; I have competed in sports for my country (equestrian and rowing); I speak 5 languages; and I will never back down from a challenge or say no

I was in rehab for the last 10.5 weeks (officially to give up alcohol, although I am not actually an alcoholic, but that was a very small price to pay for a much-needed 'cure') and loved every minute of it - fed three regular meals a day, constant medical supervision, constant company, constant availability for and of creativity and the arts. I started up a regular karaoke night that was a roaring success with all (and made me EXTREMELY popular in the process), I was involved in a music recording project, sang and played guitar in every free moment and I finally got back to my musical creativity with BIAB&RB 2012. BUT I could only bury my head in the sand for so long. I had to eventually return to reality.

I have been back in my flat since Saturday afternoon and I have managed to keep myself very busy until today with catching up on things but now I face the bleak realities of life.

To reiterate:
  • I am broke and getting increasingly into debt
  • I will be homeless on 14/08/12 unless I can find a solution (which I can't afford at the moment)
  • A new rental contract requires 3 months deposit and 3 months 'intro' money before I start paying rent
  • I am physically incapable of moving my furniture by myself and where to? I will need professional movers to deal with it - I can't afford them
  • I am totally incapable of physical work and there are no opportunities for using my brain out there
  • My isolation and loneliness is close to intolerable for me - I love being with people and I am in my element when in company
  • There is precious little hope and even less promise for the future


As an aside, and for my benefit as much as his, my best friend is currently a permanent guest on my sofa as he has nowhere else to stay and can't find regular work plus he is effectively bankrupt. At least I m doing my best to help someone else in his hour of need.

I don't want to bang on about it any more and I certainly won't go into further detail here but I hope it helps you to realise that things COULD be worse for you

Although I was born into and raised in the 1%, I AM now the 99% and maybe even more so than most

So... I hope it helps to make you feel at least a little better. I know it won't but what can we do, eh? Friends try to lighten my load by telling me that things could be worse (starving homeless etc) so I know it doesn't help - they are not you. They are not me either. AND they were born into it so that is all they know...

Cheer up!

Smell the flowers - its Spring!

Follow That Dream

Sam
Karaoke King

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Turning that corner again - I have to keep following that dream, no matter what