Another thing to keep in mind when we watch these videos of DJs playing to 30,000 people:

in every genre there are superstars who play to large audiences. There are plenty more using DJ software and cheap PAs who can't get gigs.

In the same way that you wouldn't beat yourself up because you can't fill a stadium or a festival like the superstars of today and yesterday, don't worry about what these guys are doing. It makes more sense to focus on the music we know and love, performed for an audience of our peers.

And, as 90dB has pointed out in response to some of my points, where our peers gather tends to be regional. So part of the task is in knowing your market. Notes and 90dB are still working because they know where they fit in the equation.