I just saw this... and had a listen. (or two or twenty....)

I really like this. Yup....lots of good comments that cover it so well.... excellent writing skills. Yup, like someone else said.... if I was to quote the good lines, I'd have to copy the entire song. Such insightful observations on the relationship between two people and put into words perfectly.

Of course Janice translates it to song so very well.


Excellent job on this to the both of you.


Nits and other things that are more personal taste than crits:

I wasn't as big of a fan of the backing tracks as I was the song itself and the vocals. ( a simple matter of personal taste vs any other legitimate reason) They were good and worked fairly well, as they had a superb song... a classic example of how the tracks don't really matter as much when the song is stellar. Don't get me wrong...I know you spent a lot of time on this and the work is good.

IMHO,
An acoustic piano would have been my choice for keys.
The cello may have been a fine sounding sample, but it was probably used a bit too much. Toward the end I was hating on that cello because it really started to sound like a cheesy synth.
Drums.... there were a number of places I thought.... shut those drums off, heck why are there even drums in this part? ..... this is the kind of song where, if the tracks are done right.... no drums would be needed at all. The drums in fact gave a certain "plodding along" feel to this otherwise stellar song.
A nice turn around towards the end, moving into a full blown, but appropriate band with electric guitars, B3, steel, would have been interesting for the final choruses as another possible option.
The fade didn't work for me, and fades rarely do. A nice slow down ending to a held chord would have been the perfect ending.

Length.... I know I'll catch some grief on this, but I'm never one to hesitate to step into it..... 5 minutes is a bit too long. Lose a minute in there somewhere. 4 minutes or less is the perfect length for a song like this. You have to ask yourself....What can be cut out that doesn't affect the song in any major way? Me? I'd cut the bridge and everything that follows it. Simply go back and tag the last line.... "Let's try sincerity" twice.... to a 4 note slow down held chord ending. Puts you under 4 minutes, and man...I think that would be an easy, easy song to place in a movie with that arrangement. Of course, if you have no intent to try to place the song, it's perfect at 5+ minutes.

But Greg.... man, all the nits and personal opinions aside..... I am constantly being blown away by the caliber of your writing skills..... every time I hear one of your songs, I think... man that's going to be a hard one for him to top..... then you come out with the next one and I'm blown away all over again. Any number of your songs could easily be the theme song to a movie.... or at the very least, be placed in a very prominent scene.

Superbly done.


Last edited by Guitarhacker; 04/13/16 02:45 AM.
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