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This started as a simple message lyric - "We all need some help sometimes, try and listen out for the needs of others". That simple theme ended up on a big canvas covering: regrets, memories, the tragedy of war, bereavement, materialism, need for spirituality, environmental damage and finally, redemption. Phew! Link: 'Lost On The Breeze' Piano and bass parts were from BIAB, Elton_1 style. I played in the organ, strings, and oboe parts and did all guitars and vocals. I programmed the drums into Sonar using EZDrummer. LOST ON THE BREEZE 1. Like a book that’s never opened, a word too late to say, Like a story long forgotten, your plans won’t see the light of day, A toy lost in the attic, to the past it holds the key A song that will never be sung, like chimes lost on the breeze. 2. The promised land was ours; lost at sea no more, And trailing clouds of glory, we landed on the shore. We climbed the hills of broken dreams, and still we were not free. The ship could hear our cries for help, like chimes lost on the breeze. We hear but we don’t listen, and go on our way. But we should heed the chimes and what they say. 3. Oh, gentle man that fathered me: how can I make amends? Did I really do enough to help you near the end? You were from an age when you couldn’t say what your heart really needs. His unspoken words I should have heard; now they’re chimes lost on the breeze. 4. We spend our lives gathering possessions from a list, But there’s always a yearning for something that we’ve missed. Building concrete towers and burning down the trees, Until the last songbird has gone like chimes lost on the breeze. We hear but we don’t listen, and go on our way. But we should heed the chimes and what they say. 5. Every sinner has a future; every saint has a past. Time to start believing, the light is fading fast. The race is almost run, time to fall down on your knees Or your cries will never be heard, like chimes lost on the breeze. (‘Trailing clouds of glory’ was borrowed from Wordsworth and ‘Every sinner has a future, every saint has a past’ from Oscar Wilde.) John
Last edited by Andrew - PG Music; 09/18/12 11:43 AM.
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Hey John!!! This song is terrific. The music, the mix, the vocal is top notch and very professional. occ
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Hi John,
This is a terrific arrangement and the style really suits the reflective nature of the lyrics. You have a great voice and I was completely engaged by your song and its presentation, from start to end. I really liked the oboe. One small lyric thing that stood out to me as I was listening. It caused to me readjust my thinking. In verse 3, have you tried "Your unspoken words..." rather than "His unspoken words..."? What made it stand out to me was that "you" has been used to address the father up until this last line. Given your skill at songwriting, I imagine that you've already considered this and have made your decision. I point out on the off-chance that it might have slipped by.
All the best,
Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
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John,
this was outstanding! At a time when much of what's posted here consists of 100% real tracks, you actually played most of the parts in this song! I respect your ability not only to play the parts, but also to assemble it into an exceptional mix. Well done! This hilights the usefulness of BIAB and RB as serious recording tools for those who want to rapidly prototype a song then record their own performances in the final product.
I liked the way you brought various instruments in and out of the mix (the oboe lent a particularly nice sound.) My least favorite was the tremelo (leslie?) guitar.. each time it played, it sounded like an interruption to me. I would like either to hear more of it (to establish its place in the theme) or less of it (to homogenize the mood created by the other accent instruments)
I agree with Noel that the style fits the mood of the song. I also agree that subject-pronoun agreement is less confusing when you keep it consistent throughout the lyrics, unless you purposefully intend to force the listener to consider certain comments in the light of more than one person for some reason. But that didn't appear to be the case in this song, unless I'm missing something.
But given the overall quality of the composition, all of my comments are about miniscule considerations. I am totally impressed by the wide range of skills required to make this song. You are a very talented man.
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This is wonderful, John. Beautifully balanced and performed. Thanks for pointing me to the Elton style. It may be the missing piece of a musical solution for which I've been searching. Normally as an old folkie I wouldn't be prowling through rock styles.  I have always been a Jackson Browne fan and your song carries what I would call strains of his musical style. Love your organ work - wish PG could "bottle" it.  The whole production says something important is happening here - listen. Great song. Ian
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Many thanks oc, Noel, Pat and Ian, I appreciate your kind comments and glad you enjoyed it.
Noel, your absolutely right about that little lyric mistake - I'm going to fix that, thanks!
Ian, you're spot on about the Jackson Browne influence. When I'd completed most of the lyrics I started to cast about for a suitable musical 'mood' and when I listened to JB's Greatest Hits on my iPod in the car I knew which direction I ought to go.
John
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Outstanding! Loved the arrangement, mix, vocals....all of it. Congrats!! Two thumbs up.
Music is what feelings sound like.
Band In A Box (current) Sonar Producer X2, Windows 7, 16 Gigs Ram, Quad Core, AMD Processor, Alesis MK2 Monitors, Roland Quad Capture Audio Interface,
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Nicely mixed, performed and sung. The message however, is hard to understand. Even with being clued into what you were thinking and reading the lyrics, it's still too obscure. But take that with a huge grain of salt. There are countless songs, many of them classics that I have no clue what the intended message is about. They are just such great tunes that we learn the lyrics to them and sing them regardless. So, must your message be crystal clear at every moment? I suppose not. But it's a good idea and generally a good exercise to write your lyrics in a way that's clear, concise, remains on point, and gives just enough information to the listener to keep them learning about the overall message without too much information. Always keep in mind that the listener can't read your mind when grasping obscure thoughts. It may make sense to you, but will it to others? It's a good practice for a lyricist to think that way often. What makes this a huge challenge is when we write our songs totally- both lyrics and music. That perfect balance between a fulfilling song musically and lyrically is extremely hard to get right alone, hence why so many classic songs are written by multiple people. I've written a lot of songs but way, way less than a lot I actually feel I've struck that balance perfectly. And it's that imperfection that keeps us reaching for the next perfect one.
You done good John. Really good. Keep on honing your craft. Musically and mixing, your chops are there man. Work on saying what you want to say with less words and information, and you'll strike that perfect balance. And who am I to say? Nobody, really. It's just my opinions and thoughts. Take 'em or leave 'em.
Great job!
Dan
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Really, Really enjoyed that song!
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John, I love the arrangement - it's beautiful. Your voice sounds great too. On your lyrics - in addition to the one Noel pointed out - if you change your knees to our knees and your cries to our cries it will flow much better with we hear but we don't listen.... Just my two cents. grin. I enjoyed the song very much. Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Btw, it's true that most co-write and it can be easier and quite fun if you find the right person. But Diane Warren one of the if not the most successful hit songwriter ever prefers to write alone - so it works just fine for some people. grin.
Last edited by Sundance; 09/26/10 10:39 PM.
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Hi John,
Very enjoyable listen.
You have a great talent being able to play so many instruments.
Kudos to you.
Best regards
Michee
Windows 11 64 bit, Biab 2024 1111, Realband 2024
i7 Desktop Computer 16Gb Memory
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John
This is very very good. Super arrangement and a great voice! (reminds me of Paul McCartney - heard that before? ;-)
brgds
Jan
JROM
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interesting side note:
I've noticed that the best productions often draw the most criticism. I have my own theory about why this happens, but the bottom line is that nobody should ever feel offended by criticism here on the forum. More often than not, it is the best evidence that your work is taken seriously by those who listened to it.
Above all that, the more effort one invests in a song, the more room there is for criticism (and also praise). If your song is an instrumental with all realtracks, you can only be judged on composition and mixing/mastering. But if you ...
write lyrics
sing
add vocal harmony
play any of the backing parts
play a solo
play a harmony to a solo
add effects
mix
master
all of those introduce opportunity to do something that might be criticized, even though the complexity of getting it right increases exponentially with every feature the writer adds him/herself. It's worth noting that each of these is a different skill which must be learned and cultivated individually... yet the composition tends to get judged as a whole, which dramatically raises the bar for those who do more of the work themselves.
This is a very supportive group. It's been a long time since I've seen a member smack down anybody who was trying to learn the craft of songwriting. But it's also a group that has enough collective experience at it that even the best stand to hear some constructive criticism. And when you hear it, IMHO, it means that people are listening respectfully to your music.
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John with your permission, have to comment on Pat's side note. Just wanted to say that I'm in 100% agreement.
// Jan R
JROM
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Yes, thank you Pat. It's one thing to be a group of 'it's sounds great'. Groups tend to become like family after a while. Family is supportive, but not much knowledge can be gained. To this group, I'm a relative newbee. But I always try to bring some food for thought, opinions, and advice. I can only hope it's taken in the spirit of constructive advice. I'm not above ANYBODY when it comes to writing. It's a wonderful, horrible struggle- each and every song. A love- hate relationship trying to get something done that pleases yourself, and the masses. My opinions can come off strong and set people back sometimes, but that's not the intention. We writers NEED in depth feedback. Collectively, it can be useful. Or, it can be ignored. But at least it's there to consider and it's way more helpful for a writer than simply- it's sounds great.
And btw John, your tune sounds great! That's the overall thing to take. Everything else is opinion- take it or leave it. But there's no denying, you have serious talent. And I also agree with Pat- the bigger the talent and the closer to perfect a production is, the more the nit picks come. It's almost a gauge for how close you really are.
Peace.
Dan
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John, it’s all been said. Super song, super mix and super vocals!
When I was young I was poor. But after years of hard, honest, and painstaking work I am no longer young.
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Quote:
the bigger the talent and the closer to perfect a production is, the more the nit picks come. It's almost a gauge for how close you really are.
Peace.
Dan
yeah, that's what I was trying to say. Like looking at Cindy Crawford and commenting "she has a mole"
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^^ LOL! Very good Pat!
John- also keep in mind that I primarily write country music and it's very structured lyrically. I get caught up in that 'head' often and it's hard to absorb anything but consice, conversational type lyrics. Not every song and genera has the same structural demands.
Keep in mind one thing my friend- everyone has something to say about everything. I know so many people who detest every song the Beatles ever did, hate Billy Joel- arguably the best writer of our time, and on and on. Unbelievably well written songs that have a whole population of people who remain unmoved by them. You only need to know one thing- you're very talented and this very song puts you at a level most are not destined to reach. Keep up the great work!
Dan
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Thanks for all the kind and constructive comments, I appreciate them all. I'm going to make a couple of tweaks, e.g. ref. Noel and Josie's observations on the lyrics.
When you're so up close to a project that's taken weeks to complete it's vital to have this input. Thanks again.
John
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John, Music is used to draw people in so that the message of the song can get out. You did an outstanding job of that.
steve
Steve
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