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Lay him in the ground Re-Write #285925 02/27/15 06:30 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Lay him in the ground. Hi all. Wrote this about four years ago. I decided to have another go at improving it. Ive added an extra verse. You often hear country songs where a man kills his wife or girl friend. So decided to write it from the reverse prospective. I'm not sure if the Oohs and the gunshot at the beginning work? https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob/lay-him-in-the-ground-1 She came along one evening from the southern part of town. She seemed quite unsettles as her eyes kept darting round. Mascara flooded from her cheeks onto her wedding gown. She came to lay him in the ground. She fell down onto her knees and looked towards the sky. Then called towards the heavens oh! why my god oh! why? Her grief was inconsolable her fists beat up and down. She's sworn to lay him in the ground. Bridge At times it seems impossible when you've been dealt a hand. Your grief can not be satisfied its like some twisted plan. Begging of a journey that seems to know no bounds. Today she'll lay him in the ground. Fill She found him in some tavern he was laying money down. Then she produced a pistol from beneath her wedding gown. It may seem impossible sordid and profound. She's here to lay him in the ground. The bullet met its target, straight through the ace of hearts. He staggered straight toward as blood stained all the cards. He tumbled like big oak tree as people stared and frowned. Its time to lay him in the ground At times it seems impossible when you've been dealt a hand. Your grief can not be satisfied its like some twisted plan. Begging of a journey that seems to know no bounds. She came to lay him in the ground. This day she'll lay him in the ground. She came to lay him in the ground. Title: Lay him in the ground1 File:Lay him in the ground.SGU Key=C , Tempo 100, Length (m:s)=2:38 2 bar intro, 60 bar chorus, from bar 3 to bar 62. Repeat x1 chorus No Melody No Soloist track. Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0, Style is _RCKBLLY.STY (Rockabilly Band w BariGtr[100RS]) RealTracks in style: 2421:Bass, Acoustic, RockabillySlapBoomChicka Ev16 100 RealTracks in style: 2424:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm RockabillyBoomChickaKevin Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 2423:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockabillyBoomChickaBrent Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 2422:Guitar, Baritone Electric, Rhythm BoomChickaRootFiveBrent Ev16 100 RealTracks in song: 2008:Fiddle, Soloist CountryWorkinRob Ev16 090 RealDrums in style: BoomChickaEv16^01-a: Brush, Train, b: Rods, Train Written BB and RB. Mixed in reaper. Vocals my self https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #285931 02/27/15 07:07 AM User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 6,807 United States rsdean Veteran
rsdean Veteran Joined: Aug 2010 Posts: 6,807 United States	Hey Rob, Everything about this song works for me - very cool Elvis meets Johnny Cash vibe. Great stuff! Bob

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #285942 02/27/15 08:15 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2013 Posts: 6,938 Davis, CA G Greg Johnson Veteran
Greg Johnson Veteran G Joined: Dec 2013 Posts: 6,938 Davis, CA	Well done!! The bullet met its target, straight through the ace of hearts. He staggered straight toward as blood stained all the cards. He tumbled like big oak tree as people stared and frowned. Its time to lay him in the ground Very strong verse! The gunshots were a plus!! Fun song. Take care. Greg

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write rsdean #285953 02/27/15 08:48 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: rsdean Hey Rob, Everything about this song works for me - very cool Elvis meets Johnny Cash vibe. Great stuff! Bob Thanks Bob. Always appreciate your comments. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #285960 02/27/15 09:27 AM User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2012 Posts: 11,800 Florida floyd jane Veteran
floyd jane Veteran Joined: Aug 2012 Posts: 11,800 Florida	Good write, Rob. I liked the oohs and the shot... Good vocals. Sounds like Marty Robbins backed by the Statlers... Nice instrument choices. I thought the panning was wider than it needed to be. The piano sounds hard panned to the left and guitar hard to the right. Pulling those in some would give you a "better bed" for your vocals (but that is simply an opinion...) The overall sound is perfect for the song... floyd 150+ Songs produced using BIAB RealTracks And 50 more... and some more...

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286007 02/28/15 12:10 AM User Showcase
Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,079 wales gibson Veteran
gibson Veteran Joined: Aug 2003 Posts: 3,079 wales	Rob, A great country song!! Good beginning! Thoroughly enjoyed that. ALyn My showcase songs My story

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286023 02/28/15 03:32 AM User Showcase
Joined: Apr 2013 Posts: 8,119 South Carolina C Charlie Fogle Veteran
Charlie Fogle Veteran C Joined: Apr 2013 Posts: 8,119 South Carolina	Great story. This is a well written and performed song. It has a 1960's spaghetti western feel about it. I can easily imagine Roger Whittaker performing this one. Enjoyed it. Charlie BIAB Ultra Pak+ 2024:RB 2024, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286032 02/28/15 04:21 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 14,200 GA USA Janice & Bud Veteran
Janice & Bud Veteran Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 14,200 GA USA	It's all already been said. - well written - cool vocal - good use of sound effects - nice selection of RT's I agree with floyd that narrowing the pan would better showcase the vocal. However, the wide pan does fit right in with 60's mix styles and that might be what your are "shooting" at. Enjoyed it! J&B Janice on Spotify J&B Soundcloud J&B Website

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286056 02/28/15 08:13 AM User Showcase
Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 6,795 Sacramento, California dcuny Veteran
dcuny Veteran Joined: Sep 2010 Posts: 6,795 Sacramento, California	Nailed it - the sound, vocal and lyric. I'll agree with J&B that the wide pan has a certain "dated" quality to it, but it fits. -- David Cuny My virtual singer development blog Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286079 02/28/15 10:49 AM User Showcase
Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 8,074 Winston-Salem, NC Pat Marr Veteran
Pat Marr Veteran Joined: Oct 2008 Posts: 8,074 Winston-Salem, NC	Hey Rob, I liked this a lot.. I thought it contained a lot of cohesion throughout, and some interesting word play. I don't know if it was intentional to describe the woman's angst as her response to being "dealt a hand" as a parallel to shooting the man as he played a game of cards. Whether or not you intended it that way, it works. I also liked the way you arranged each verse to logically end with some variation of the song's title. In order to do that you needed a LOT of words that rhyme with GROUND, and it would have been very easy to introduce awkward sentences in order to get the rhyme. I thought you did a remarkable job of keeping it natural and avoiding any combination that sounded contrived. I liked the shots... it added some shock factor to what might otherwise have just come across as a story. But, in that context, the shot could have been louder. The photo to the right of the song is perfect! Although songs like this don't show up on the radio much anymore, there seems to be a resurgence of songs like this at music festivals... but in that context there tends to be a lot more soloing of various instruments. All in all, I'm very impressed with this song! Good job all 'round! You should be playing live. https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ey71h8ep047758h/AAC12jNM0Hz9Q8zsh5iDeqNHa?dl=0

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286096 02/28/15 02:02 PM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Hey floyd. Thanks for your comments. I played around with the pan settings just for something different. I will most likely correct that. Thanks again. Rob. Last edited by Rob4580; 02/28/15 02:04 PM. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Greg Johnson #286117 02/28/15 05:11 PM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson Well done!! The bullet met its target, straight through the ace of hearts. He staggered straight toward as blood stained all the cards. He tumbled like big oak tree as people stared and frowned. Its time to lay him in the ground Very strong verse! The gunshots were a plus!! Fun song. Take care. Greg Thank you for your support and comments Greg. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write gibson #286128 02/28/15 08:17 PM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: gibson Rob, A great country song!! Good beginning! Thoroughly enjoyed that. ALyn Hello Gibson. Glad you enjoyed the song. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Charlie Fogle #286141 02/28/15 11:43 PM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: c_fogle Great story. This is a well written and performed song. It has a 1960's spaghetti western feel about it. I can easily imagine Roger Whittaker performing this one. Enjoyed it. Charlie Thanks Charlie. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286142 03/01/15 12:00 AM User Showcase
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,574 Hong Kong L lambada Expert
lambada Expert L Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,574 Hong Kong	I liked it. I think I'd like to hear the lyrics a little more in the foreground of the mix. Windows 10 Home 20H2 Build 19042.487 BIAB 2021 (Build 818) Intel(R) Core(TM), i3-4160, CPU @3.60 GHz RAM 16 GB, 64 Bit X64-based processor Zoom UAC-2 (USB 3 interface-built in midi) VoiceLive 3 Extreme, Sputnik Valve Condenser Mic

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286143 03/01/15 12:11 AM User Showcase
Joined: May 2012 Posts: 2,906 South Africa JoanneCooper Veteran
JoanneCooper Veteran Joined: May 2012 Posts: 2,906 South Africa	Hi Rob. Really great voice you have for this type of song. I enjoyed the listen very much. Good job! LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Rob4580 #286195 03/01/15 07:46 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,986 Texas City, Texas Steve Young Expert
Steve Young Expert Joined: Jun 2010 Posts: 1,986 Texas City, Texas	Rob, I really like your story-telling abilities. Strong write, and your voice really fits this one. Thanks for sharing it! Steve Steve Young Music "In order to compose, all you need to do is remember a tune that nobody else has thought of." - Robert Schumann

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Janice & Bud #286261 03/02/15 01:21 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud It's all already been said. - well written - cool vocal - good use of sound effects - nice selection of RT's I agree with floyd that narrowing the pan would better showcase the vocal. However, the wide pan does fit right in with 60's mix styles and that might be what your are "shooting" at. Enjoyed it! J&B Hello Janice and Bud. Many thanks for your helpful comments. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write dcuny #286262 03/02/15 01:22 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: dcuny Nailed it - the sound, vocal and lyric. I'll agree with J&B that the wide pan has a certain "dated" quality to it, but it fits. Hi David. Thank you for commenting. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

Re: Lay him in the ground Re-Write Pat Marr #286275 03/02/15 02:43 AM User Showcase
Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia Rob4580 OP Veteran
OP Rob4580 Veteran Joined: Jan 2012 Posts: 3,615 Murgon Queensland Australia	Originally Posted By: Pat Marr Hey Rob, I liked this a lot.. I thought it contained a lot of cohesion throughout, and some interesting word play. I don't know if it was intentional to describe the woman's angst as her response to being "dealt a hand" as a parallel to shooting the man as he played a game of cards. Whether or not you intended it that way, it works. I also liked the way you arranged each verse to logically end with some variation of the song's title. In order to do that you needed a LOT of words that rhyme with GROUND, and it would have been very easy to introduce awkward sentences in order to get the rhyme. I thought you did a remarkable job of keeping it natural and avoiding any combination that sounded contrived. I liked the shots... it added some shock factor to what might otherwise have just come across as a story. But, in that context, the shot could have been louder. The photo to the right of the song is perfect! Although songs like this don't show up on the radio much anymore, there seems to be a resurgence of songs like this at music festivals... but in that context there tends to be a lot more soloing of various instruments. All in all, I'm very impressed with this song! Good job all 'round! You should be playing live. Hello Pat. Thank you for another in depth observation. I always find your comments very encouraging. Thank you my friend. Rob. https://soundcloud.com/ironbarkbob https://open.spotify.com/artist/6IPuZM4B48Drnd38DEWC7L https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCoXdTc0EC_3aaZSqT4dyzug Using Studio One.

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