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Song called Seventeen. Been listening to a lot of early Elton John lately. God that stuff was good. https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs/seventeenOne real track. Seventeen By David Snyder Key=F , Tempo 65, Length (m:s)=3:11 RealTracks in style: 894:Piano, Acoustic, Solo
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Hi David!
That RT really does a great job of capturing the Elton John sound! Thanks for bringing it to my attention! I need to create backing tracks for some of his stuff!
I thought your lyrics to this were interesting, almost stream of consciousness meandering through the thoughts of someone considering what he likes about the seventeen year old of his dreams.
One disadvantage of posting a sparse arrangements is that there are fewer elements on which to comment, so... I'm already out of stuff to say!
instant summary: I really like the concept and execution of this project, and the way you described the 17 year old in the 3rd person, through the eyes of the story teller. You totally pulled off the solo piano production! The vocals were relaxed to the point of being almost pitchy in places, but I think that adds an aura of honesty to the song, and it promotes the image of an ordinary young man writing a love song from his heart, singing to the walls of his bedroom more than to a radio audience.
Overall effect: tender yet powerful
would I like to perform this song live?
I think it would go over very well in the right setting. It would work better in a listening room venue than in a dance venue
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It could be because I had the vocals cranked WAY over the edge. I turned them. Should be better now. 
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"And she tells her friends
She thinks she might Cherokee
Or maybe she’s from Spain
Or France or Italy"
Simply stated...that is a lovely write.
The piano and the vocal seemed made
for each other.
We like it -- a lot.
Well done!!
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos
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David,
This is a STRONG write. Your best ever. Lyrically and melodically.
Love your vocal on this - so "real". I believed every word.
And the piano works perfectly for this. Kudos all around.
Now... one thing - and take this with a grain of salt - because this (the song) is all really excellent...
I felt a "let-down" from the fact that she is seventeen. It suddenly puts the narrative in a place I was not prepared for it to go - and did not want it to... The rest of the song felt like "she was 24" - which make her "more worldly" - and I wanted her to be that. 17 is a kid. 24 is a woman (though still young). A lot like the "Too Dangerous" woman - I doubt that anyone would assume she was 17...
I would have preferred that you repeat "That she wants to be" and tag with "Wants to be". Or something else.. other than Seventeen.
Just a (random) thought.
This is a super song!
floyd
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It could be because I had the vocals cranked WAY over the edge. I turned them. Should be better now. Hey David... for future reference, man I wouldn't EVER change anything in one of your songs based on my comments! I tend to remark on how the song made me FEEL, and that has very little to do with the quality or structure of anything... it probably says more about whether or not I've had coffee recently... LOL! You do great work, stand your ground and (at least where I'm concerned) consider my comments to be nothing more than a first impression. Reviewing the same song tomorrow after three cups of coffee, I'm likely to hear it in a completely different way! In general, music reviews remind me of the ancient fable attributed to Aesop: http://www.bartleby.com/17/1/62.htmlMoral of the story is that public opinion goes in every direction at once, and when used as a roadmap, it tends to lead you in circles.
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It could be because I had the vocals cranked WAY over the edge. I turned them. Should be better now. Hey David... for future reference..... Actually (Pat and/or David)... it made a big difference. the re-posted vocal sits in the mix really well - a whole lot better than it did before... (Nice job, David!)
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Hey Floyd, This song is about my daughter who is 17 going on 24, or maybe 30. She went away to a science boarding school for super genius girls, and this is her Dad talking. I didn't think about these lyrics at all. It just all came pouring out after listening to some Elton John. I couldn't move my pen fast enough to write it down.
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HA! Like I said... "grain of salt".
You should be very proud of this write.
(and your daughter...)
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Hi David, "And she tells her friends
She thinks she might Cherokee
Or maybe she’s from Spain
Or France or Italy"
Simply stated...that is a lovely write.
The piano and the vocal seemed made
for each other.
+1 A very enjoyable listen. Guenter
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Hi David. Love the Elton John looking photo on Soundcloud. You certainly captured the essence of this sound perfectly. Enjoyed it.
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Wow ! Really a great song to a daughter David !
Was just playing whit a thought at the end; After repeating those words, u could go over to talking and say like Seventeen already? My gosh how times flying fast...;)
Last edited by Trygve Larsen; 04/13/16 09:07 PM.
Forever Grateful, BUT, sometimes pissed of.  Trygve "Leo" Larsen BiaB 2020, Windows 8.1, Intel Core i5 CPU, 270GHz, 32 Gb RAM My OLD tracks on Soundcloud; https://soundcloud.com/trygve-larsen My NEW is unpublished The Universe = Uni-verse ie one song.
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David,
This is a STRONG write. Your best ever. Lyrically and melodically.
Love your vocal on this - so "real". I believed every word.
And the piano works perfectly for this. Kudos all around.
floyd Agree with Floyd - my favourite of yours.
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David,
You have really captured the vibe and feel of an "Elton" song here - excellent job.
Bob
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This is a STRONG write. Your best ever. Lyrically and melodically.
Love your vocal on this - so "real". I believed every word.
And the piano works perfectly for this. Kudos all around.
Agreed!! I really like this. It is very Elton-I too simply loved his early work. The intro piano sounded like it was ready to break into "High Flying Bird". You sang the hell out of this-just right. I wouldn't have minded a bit more arrangement in the second half of the song. But maybe that's just me and my inability to leave anything alone. Beautifully done!!! Take care. Greg
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It's very nice to hear a vocal piano piece and this one is a knockout!
Well Done!
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Thanks a lot! That means a lot to me!!
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Thanks you so much!! I am glad you liked it!
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