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Act 4.

A David Snyder/floyd jane co-write.

David originally posted this song as "somewhat a joke".
I suggested he take it a bit more seriously and work it as such. Others said the same.
He did a new version (making some changes and adding a bridge).
Someone else lead him to a new direction and he again reworked the song in an alt/rock manner.
I felt that it could have gone "the other direction" - more Country.

So I ask if he would allow me to re-work it (one more time).
Hopefully, y'all won't mind hearing the story one more time..with a new (old) twist (style)...

The BAIB stuff...

RealTracks in song: 366:Bass, Electric, Country Ev 065
RealTracks in song: 836:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm AltCountryRootsy Ev 075 (A:muted)
RealTracks in song: 2542:Pedal Steel, Background ModernBalladAtmosphere Ev16 065
RealDrums in Song: NashvilleEven8^1-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

I played the acoustic guitars. - a note to the PGMUSIC folks... this style of acoustic (for slow tempos) is not (yet) found in BIAB...

Janice Merritt provided the harmony.


BIBLE ON THE DRESSER

there's a bible on the dresser
beside an empty whiskey jar
i stare out the window
where she used to park her car
she left tire tracks etched
into a dusty country road
and tucked inside her bible
a handwritten note

   read this bible
   startin' on page one
   don't come looking for me
   we're done
   you need it more than i do
   caught in some devil's spell
   read this book, do what it says
   you might not go to hell

i set down that whiskey glass
picked up my phone
daddy answered "what you want?
your mama isn't home."
but mama got on the line
asked me what i'd done
said if i was you i'd read that note again
and memorize it son

   read that bible
   startin' on page one
   don't go looking for her
   let her go, that's done
   you need it more than she does
   to break that devil's spell
   read that book, do what it says
   crawl out of your hell

yeah i know that my hell raisin'
led me into sin
i pray i'll be forgiven
and i'll see that girl again

there's a bible on dresser
beside an empty whiskey jar
so now all that i got left
of what was written on her heart
are tire tracks forever
etched into a dusty road
and tucked inside her bible
all i need to know

©2016 david snyder and floyd jane


David - thanks for letting me stick my nose in your business...
Janice - thanks for backing me up!!! (and Bud).

Comments welcomed.
Have at it.

floyd

Hey Guys.

I missed the original - just not had much time to spend on the forum just recently, but this version certainly works for me.

A classic piece of country, from the story to the production and the arrangement.

Great song David, nicely done Floyd.

ROG.

Great songwriting, love the lyrics! Vocals are top notch as is the music and production. Really good guys, very much enjoyed the listen!

Floyd,
I haven`t heard the other version, but its hard to imagine this song as anything other than pure country listening here. The lyrics are up there with the best of the genre and vocals soar in the right places... but my favourite is the spoken lines of Dad on the phone!
Great production as ever.

Robert

The pitch... the smack of wood against leather.... the crowd rises to its collective feet, cheering the home run...

Yeah, man.. that's exactly what this song needed! The lyrics are tailor made for a country demographic, and I was very surprised when the original version wasn't more like this.. and even more surprised when the subsequent version strayed even farther from country.

And you do country so well... you know where to pause and where to rush the phrasing for a more natural delivery.

A lot of otherwise good ballads suffer from a cheezy ending, but this ending is just phenomenal! I bet that didn't happen on the first generation of the pedal steel real track!

And don't apologize for resurrecting the song yet again.. it is an exceptional tune.. IMO one of David's very best in terms of lyric writing. Between David's familiarity with bible belt thinking and your familiarity with writing songs that blow the listening experience out of the water, I really think this song has commercial appeal. People in the traditional south are upset by the direction the world is taking, and I believe this song would be very well received.

Janice, as always, adds her magic to the mix, thereby making sure there are no little windows in the song where nothing spectacular is happening. Everywhere she chimes in, its like somebody sprinkling glitter and rainbows. Shiny stuff. Good stuff.

so, wow! Great collaboration! I love to hear an idea resolve as well as that one did!

Thanks, ROG...

It had not occurred to me before, but it is interesting to follow the path the song took...if anyone chooses to.

The re-write that I did was based partly on Version 1 and partly on Version 2 with changes as I saw fit. I really like David's originality and imagination, but we need to hog tie him once in a while - the boy is wild, crazy.... But... he is very easy to work with.... in fact... stay tuned...

Version 1
https://soundcloud.com/davids-nashville-hits/bible-on-the-dresser
Version 2
https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs/bible-on-the-dresser
Version 3
https://soundcloud.com/david-snyder-gigs/bible-on-the-dresser_alt-rock-remix

floyd, David and Janice, this is a terrific collab. A great write, great harmonies and the right arrangement. All that and then the live acoustics and a vocal delivered with extra sauce. This may be one of your all time best vocals floyd. I thought everything was super. The good stuff! Tom

Not much I can add to Tom's comments - just a great collaboration - a great production.
Very impressive.

Floyd / David,

I remember this song. This version is excellent. Love the lead vocal, arrangement, and the harmony by Janice really makes it shine.

Great stuff!

Bob

Simply beautiful guys!
We haven't heard the original version but this one sure sounds professional all the way.
Beautiful blending of the vocals too!

Rob & Anne-Marie

FJ, David and Janice - Great collab! FJ, you sure nailed that vocal as well as that Dad character talking. I think this is the only version I've heard and it sounds like all the right stuff for a classic country tearjerker to me. Great job y'all!

Thanks for the nice comments everyone. I am in the wilderness near the Canadian border right now and the Internet is really slow where I am, so it will be next week before I can listen and reply to all the new forum tunes I am dying to hear and comment on!:)

But yeah, Floyd put it in the bleachers for sure and Janice gave me goosebumps--again.

My latest advice from Nashville was: "If you want to pitch country Dave, you gotta let Floyd sing." Well, all righty then! I hear ya!!! Ha, ha, ha. They're right!! That boy can play and sing a country song like there's no tomorrow for sure. I will give him that.

And yes, we have been tinkering behind the scenes with a few little doodles soon to be released. Won't say much right now, but I will tell ya the same thing I told the sound man.

"I hope you got a fire extinguisher back there mister because Floyd and me are about to burn this place down."

Great collaboration and well worth the effort that's been put into it.

This is certainly the best version so far in my opinion but I don't know that it still can't be taken a bit farther.

Nothing at all wrong with it, I personally think the song is good enough that it could make the cut as a demo for a major artist and producer to make it into a huge commercial hit.

floyd and David,

that is a collab made in heaven.



nothing more to add, well done all of you

Alyn

A good song, strong message, sincerely sung and perfect arrangement, cut another notch in that post Floyd.

Paddy G

Dave - we say "Thanks!"




Robert - we appreciate all that..

Hi Floyd,

I liked David's versions, but you made it to a song of your own which is spectacular. The little changes in the lyrics, the arrangement, the vocals and Janice's harmonies: it all fits so perfectly. What came out of this great collab is a beautiful song.

Guenter

Floyd, David and Janice, congratulations! Great collaboration. I can only agree with all of the comments above. Each element of the song from the lyrics to vocals to production all comes together beautifully in a classic country format.

I'd like to throw something out there. It just so happens that last night I watched a video by a songwriter-to-the stars Ralph Murphy. I'm sure many of you have heard of him. Amongst many other opinions about making #1 country singles (the context for this discussion because as people have mentioned this song is in that territory) he insists that the song needs to empower the singer. In other words it needs to firmly place the singer in a positive, almost heroic light. I wonder if the lyrics here do that? In light of Murphy's advice I would be inclined to bend the song more towards redemption, or at least acknowledgement of past wrongdoing so that there is hope of reconciliation with the ex. It could simply be in the final verse - nothing radical required. I wonder how much you value Murphy's advice. A lot of his suggestions are new to me (not really being interested in #1s).

Very moving song, kinda got my eyes wet, not a bad thing, great song..........

The sum is greater than the parts.

Collabs really take things to a new level and this is proof. I heard at least one of the original 3 versions and thought the song was ok but nothing to write home about. However, the collab version really shines.

I'm curious to know what NSAI thinks about this latest version.

Good job on kicking it up several notches.