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eddie1261
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eddie1261
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Paradox of You - V7 I moved some things around, wrote a second bridge. Hope you like it.
Last edited by eddie1261; 01/22/18 02:40 PM.
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I added your submission to the chain in "Off Topic". Thanks Eddie!
 Steve BIAB/RB 2022, Pro Tools 2020, Korg N5, JBL LSR 4328 Powered Monitors, AKG/Shure Mics. PC: Win11 PRO, 4 TB M2 SSD, 2 TB HD, 128 GB Memory
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All these years working together and I never knew you had a soft side.
Nicely done, Eddie.
ROG.
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This sounds very smooth and enjoyable country version. Nice relaxing melody and chords. I like the pedal steel. Maybe the chorus could have been emphasized little bit more?
Janne
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Awesome! Okay I will have to swing at this now.  Great job Eddie.
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Eddie
Very nice version with a pleasing melody. A good listen.
Peter
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Hi Eddie.
Very reflective and mellow version. Like your arrangement. Easy listening.
Cheers.
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Eddie, I like the laid back feel of this one and I think that steel works really well. The strings at the end are a great choice and sending the song out in a beautiful fashion! Thanks, Torrey
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Wow! I have to say, this was really great! Mark me impressed. It had an unexpected to feel that I totally dug.
Great job Eddie!
Chad (Hope that makes it easier) TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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When Eddie sent me this he told me that he used to be a rocker but everything he writes these days seems to come out country. A nice easy interpretation Eddie. Thank you!
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All these years working together and I never knew you had a soft side.
Nicely done, Eddie.
ROG. Hahahaha! A most lovely interpretation! J&B
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Nice job Eddie!! This is the 3rd version I've heard today-all so different and all so good. I really love your textural arrangement. The melody is really sweet too! Very nice job!! Take care. Greg
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Wow just another awesome version. Super interpretation of the song lyrics. Well done..
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Hello, Eddie
Very cool guitar intro! And very smooth and enjoyable country version. It's a nice idea to start the song with the chorus clause. Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi
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eddie1261
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Thanks to everyone who commented on my interpretation of those lyrics. It was a funny thing that I initially passed over the thread because when I read the title, something like "Your take on the same song", I thought "He wants people copy the same song?" Then I saw all those follow up posts and read the original. Once I did that, I printed out the lyrics and sat at the piano and that song came out in about 20 minutes. The flow of the lyric, as usual, determined where the breaths will be and dictated the cadence of how the lyric would line up with the beats of the music. That prosody is SO important.
I was V7 and at that point had not listened to 1 thru 6. Once I was done and posted I went back and listened to 1 thru 6, and then to Elvis Snyder's hilarious V8, and now the heavier V9. All well done. All great examples of how different songwriter's see things.
And Rog, you didn't know I had a softer side? After Jessie redid "The One That Got Away" (and that redo was better than the original) you still say that? How much softer can it get than a guy crying because he let "the one" (though she turned out to be psychotic - I thought so at the time!) slip through his fingers?
If you still have the original, it'd be fun to post them side by side for everyone to hear a great example of two thought processes. I know you still have the Jessie version online.
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Eddie, you did a fantastic job on this. A laid back pop style with a touch of country pedal steel.
Great job on this.
I arrived early to a restaurant. The manager asks, "do you mind waiting a bit?" I said no. "Good", he said. "Take these drinks to table 3"
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Eddie....
Well, I had to see what you were up to as I don't see you post many tunes..... so curiosity got me. And to be honest, this is the first version of this I have even listened too. I reckon I'll need to have a listen to some of the others now.
Nice easy country version. I liked it.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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The flow of the lyric, as usual, determined where the breaths will be and dictated the cadence of how the lyric would line up with the beats of the music. That prosody is SO important. Amen brother... I've got a lot to learn in that department. It's amazing how each one of us that participated had a different way to take that flow. Your version is very soothing. I really liked the synth background and drums on this one!
 Steve BIAB/RB 2022, Pro Tools 2020, Korg N5, JBL LSR 4328 Powered Monitors, AKG/Shure Mics. PC: Win11 PRO, 4 TB M2 SSD, 2 TB HD, 128 GB Memory
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eddie1261
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Just keep writing, Steve. It will come to a place where you don't even think about it. Tell your story and move on tot he next one.
Just think about how you walk with a certain rhythm. ONE two THREE four. You wouldn't write a lyric that naturally flowed ONE two three FOUR if the music flowed the other way.
Like "LOOK what I got", vs "OH no you DON'T". You wouldn't say "OH no YOU don't" in normal conversation.
Otherwise you end up with that annoying melisma that was in every Pretenders record because Chrissie Hynde was not a particularly good lyric writer. Like "I'm on my way-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay-yay". When you have to stretch a syllable across all those notes, that's called melisma.
Rule of thumb is that when the cadence of the lyric is not the same as the cadence of the melody, rewrite the line.
In the case of having the lyric presented to you and having to work backwards fitting the music to the lyric, it can be tougher. Think of the difference between a coach trying to force his passing offense onto a team built to run the ball and a coach adapting his offense to his team.
Or in nerdspeak, you can't use a 5 1/4" floppy in a 3 1/2" drive by folding the disc over and forcing it in the drive.
Last edited by eddie1261; 01/27/18 06:15 AM.
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