|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Can a song be too personal? I`m not often a fan of highly confessional songs( everybody hurts!)and have left the subject of this one aside for so long that my power to help of influence the person who suffered has probably passed... and all I can do is write a song. If you listen and have constructive comments,they are most welcome. Unseen Unknown Unheard Style is _HOMESIK.STY (Homesick Soft Pop Serenade) RealTracks in style: ~2474:Bass, Acoustic, Held Ev 085 RealTracks in song: 2461:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm NewAgeAlbertiPretty Ev 100 RealTracks in style: 3059:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Muted16thsFintan Ev16 080 RealTracks in song: 2336:Viola, Background, Pop Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 2338:Violin, Background, PopLow Ev 085 (1TrackStringSection) RealTracks in song: 1856:Cello, Background PopCountry Ev 085 RealDrums [in style:CongasEv16[single] [Multi] Unseen Unknown Unheard wanting to be seen my lord made jewels green to live in your eyes carry silence with you like a backpack like those birds out the window at school one day turning cartwheels then holding your breath seeing faces from the bottom of a pool we called him Uncle Amazing he looked like Steve McQueen all candy card tricks sleight of hand games behind closed doors the cost to keep mum on the tip of your tongue like a brand you slip through the seam between worlds unseen unknown unheard needing to be known the heart outgrows bone beats beyond your walls he sent a singing postcard playing we`ll meet again in the fort we made to be safe there`s a ghost at the table girl without edges where is my sister you replaced slip back through the seam between worlds be seen be known be heard longing to be heard the beginnings of words no secret can contain no secret can contain © Robert Cordrey Aug. 2019
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 5,825
Veteran
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2018
Posts: 5,825 |
Robert,
Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing.
Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,798
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Sep 2010
Posts: 6,798 |
Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2012
Posts: 11,811 |
Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed.
The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy.
(a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,817
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,817 |
Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414
PG Music Staff
|
|
PG Music Staff
Joined: Feb 2017
Posts: 3,414 |
Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing 
Cheers,
Deryk
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Robert,
Very unusual tune. Poetry is haunting-beautiful. Intricate phrasing.
Hand drums work very well on this. Production is A+ Enjoyed this a lot.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
I appreciate that, Misha. Constructive criticism? I can't think of anything to criticize here.
As Misha noted, it's an unusual tune, more poetry set to music. You've got a unique voice in terms of how you approach songs, and this is no exception.
Well mixed, musically interested, expressive, emotional singing.
In terms of being too personal, well... I suspect that's meant more an explanation of the song than an question.
But yes - some songs can be way too personal. Thanks for the heads up.
And thanks for posting! Thanks for the positive comments, particularly on the vocals. My intro comments probably reflect a hesitance about posting this one-closet skeletons and all that. Robert,
Terrific opening. The a cappella vocal resolving into the quartet-style strings - so nice!
The combination of the muted acoustic and the newage piano is super (you've used many of my favorite RTs in this!).
Your vocal is perfect....an as-good-as-it-gets performance. Perfectly mixed.
The whole mix is excellent. Everything about this is top-notch.
A STUNNING write. Absolutely broke my heart. Start to finish quote-worthy.
(a career-defining type write.)
A real WOW.
fj Floyd, I`m pleased you liked the acappella opening- it was a late choice to believe the harmonies were good enough. Getting the percussive guitar a little under the pretty piano seemed to do the trick. Your comments are so supportive- I can`t thank you enough for the careful listening and sensitivity behind your reviews. Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,981
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,981 |
Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand
games behind closed doors
the cost to keep mum
on the tip of your tongue
like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,202
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 5,202 |
Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604 |
Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Feb 2016
Posts: 1,677 |
Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,210
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 14,210 |
"there`s a ghost at the table
girl without edges
where is my sister
you replaced "
That's a "run off the road" two lines if one were driving while listening....incredibly powerful.
And the lyric is outstanding all the way through. Zero filler.
The vocals are amongst your best...Stefan has the word, "vulnerable."
It would be hard to imagine a better arrangement, band or mix to support this write.
It's all been already stated more eloquently than we are capable...
Amazing.
J&B
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Robert,
An absolutely stunning piece...
"we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand"
Wow - no words to describe how much I love this one.
Bob
I very much appreciate that, Bob...makes the choice to share so worth while. Wow - what unique and attention-grabbing tune! It has an almost psychedelic feel to it - your lyrics and vocals on this are haunting too, and it sets a really spectacular mood. Thanks for sharing Deryk, Thanks for all your listens and positive comments. Robert, Like floyd, I really enjoyed the vocal introduction that led into the instruments. One needs lots of confidence to do that and you did it very well. I'm not sure that I fully understood the lyrics but the below verses were very haunting and they caused me much reflection. we called him Uncle Amazing
he looked like Steve McQueen
all candy card tricks
sleight of hand
games behind closed doors
the cost to keep mum
on the tip of your tongue
like a brand I honestly don't know what to say nor how to say it. Given the sense of gravitas that I feel from these lyrics, I sincerely hope that time has helped with healing. The style, your singing and your arrangement were excellent choices to carry this story. Regards, Noel Noel, I set a few inner ground rules for writing the lyrics: -make it clear the song is about the sexual abuse of a child, without using gratuitous detail. -write both from the child`s point of view and the adult, believing there is healing to be found. -its unlikely my sister will hear the song, but if she does, have I written a message of love and support? The responses from the generous listeners here make me I hope I succeeded in some way. Thanks for your kind comments. Robert -
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,908
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: May 2012
Posts: 2,908 |
Hi Robert
I dont think you can be too personal. That is what makes songwriting great and deeply fulfilling.
Loved the line "seeing faces from the bottom of a pool"
A fantastic write all round.
Well done.
J
LyricLab A.I assisted chords and lyric app. Export lyrics and import directly into Band-in-a-Box 2024. https://lyriclab.net Play-along with songs you know and love, download SGU files https://playiit.com/
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,543
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 5,543 |
Robert
A very emotional sad write and beautifully performed.
As floyd said a great mix and vocal.
One of your absolute best.
Peter
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,329
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,329 |
Robert,
I like it and the imagery/impressions it gave BUT the 1st stanza, to my eyes and ears, doesn't seem to belong. Well, the "my lord" bit anyway.
Impressionistic/picture painting/cinematic all fit the vibe and arrangement.
Cool stuff.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,792
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 3,792 |
Hauntingly tangible poetry. Your singing is really emotional. I like the piano playing its own dark melancholy. Excellent use of string instruments.
Janne
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357
Veteran
|
|
OP
Veteran
Joined: Jun 2016
Posts: 3,357 |
Love your vocal in this one, Robert, so fragile and delicate.
I found the lyrics to be disturbing to be honest, but they certainly held my attention! Very well written indeed.
Good song! Dave, Thanks for your listen and the endorsement of the vocal- its not easy to balance feeling and good technique sometimes. I think if folks don`t find the subject and lyrics at least uncomfortable in places I wouldn`t have succeeded, though I understand how this song could be outside the bounds for some. Wow Robert very emotional song. The backtrack was perfect for the song. Such a powerful lyric and awesome vocal. Well done.
Scott, Thank you-actually double-thanks because diving in to our next collaboration has helped me move on from this song. Hi Rob,
I have to pick up your song title to describe what I feel )lyrics like these UNSEEN before, a song like this UNHEARD before. It's really unusual in all aspects. Unusual in the sense of marvellous that is.
The way you sing it made got me some goose bumps - it's so soft and ... hm ... vulnerable.
An excellent piece from A to Z.
All the best,
Stefan That`s a cool review- thank you! Robert
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,381
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Aug 2018
Posts: 1,381 |
"...and all I can do is write a song."
Lovely little band you've put together here. JUST enough to support. I'm quite stunned by the delicacy of the lyric (framed by your fragile vocal and rhythmic phrasing). I not only think this is the best lyric I've heard from you, but it may well be the best lyric of it's type I've heard anywhere.
Any time.
Ever.
That's all.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,477
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Mar 2013
Posts: 4,477 |
Hi, Robert !
How original isn´t your most lovely
tune ! Evoking a lot of emotions
really ! Congrats !
Cheers
Dani
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Video: Band-in-a-Box® + ChatGPT = Impressed the BOSS!
Band-in-a-Box User Video Tutorials!
If you've reviewed our Support page, you've probably noticed the Videos page, which separates our Band-in-a-Box® tutorial videos by category: Overview, VST DAW Plugin, Setup, Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, and there's even an Archive category to go down memory lane... (You'll also find these videos on our YouTube Channel.)
It's always great to hear how other Band-in-a-Box® users create their songs, especially when they explain in detail what they're doing. Like Henry Clarke's YouTube Channel, Henry Clarke - Senior Musicians Unite! There you'll find his ALL Band-in-a-Box Tutorials playlist with over 50 videos! His top-three most watched videos include "How to Get Started with Band-in-a-Box," "How I use the Audio Chord Wizard in Band-in-a-Box," and "How to Create An Effective Solo Using Band-in-a-Box" - however he touches on many other topics and also demonstrates his own Band-in-a-Box® songs in the Band-in-a-Box Created Songs playlist!
You're guaranteed to find some helpful videos when you visit Henry Clarke's channel!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Italian for Windows is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 et bien plus encore!
Tous Packages | Nouvelles Fonctionnalités
Video: Making a Song with Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V
Take your Band-in-a-Box® project to a whole new level when you incorporate ChatGPT and Synth V to add lyrics and vocals to your song!
We wanted to demonstrate how this is done with our video, where we show you how to go from nothing to a finished "radio ready" modern pop song by combining the features of Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V!
Listen to the finished song, so you get a listen to the finished product: https://demos.pgmusic.com/misc/behindthefame.m4a
If you like it, watch the video. Either way, let's hear your comments!
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Convert MIDI Chords into AI Vocal Harmonies with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums65
Topics81,860
Posts739,325
Members38,641
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean