There's a click at 0.27.
Until your voice comes in the bass sitting on the left doesn't make sense.
I think the 1st click and subsequent ones are mouth noises - you probably need to sip water while tracking to avoid that stuff.
The arrangement is fine once the strings and guitar come in but prior to that is WAY too slow with no forward movement.
Your melody and lyrics seem to be good but you do need to work on recording your voice. I know I've harped on about that before but It'd be good for your songs.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe