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Down in the One-Ply Holler I had to jump on the bandwagon (pardon the pun) and write my own Covid-19 song. This one is full of jocularity and was fun to create and record, and is here to make your housebound isolation more bearable. The melody is predictable. For those of you unfamiliar with Appalachia, a "holler" (hollow) is a small valley. So my title has two meanings. One is that the "holler" refers to the persona's domicile, and the other is that using too much one-ply TP might make you holler. (Back in the day as many of you may remember, we referred to this type of TP as John Wayne toilet paper: rough, tough, and doesn't take any sh*t from anybody.) For those who are of a delicate constitution, I assure that no children were harmed or imprisoned during the making of this song. I used the style CTRNRGS - Chicken Pickin' Country sans the resonator soloist and added a baritone guitar soloist and a bluegrass acoustic solist. RealBass 592 Bass, Acoustic RealDrums-NashTrain RealPiano 598 Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming RealGuitar 411 Guitar, Electric, Rhythm Train Pickin RT2501 Guitar, Baritone Electric, Soloist CountryWorkinBrent RT597 Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Lyrics I’ve binged watched every Netflix show Gonna give Amazon another look Clock on the wall moving much too slow I’ve read seven times ev’ry Harry Potter book I’m stuck here at home Endless meetings on the telephone Don’t think I’ll survive this caper With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper My wife’s hair now has turned to gray My belly boasts 10 more pounds of lard I’m worn slap out, can’t last another day They’re gonna find my children buried in the backyard Chorus Zooming with the boss on the internet It’s 9 a.m. and I don’t care Wearing a shirt and tie is my best bet Nothing else on but faded holey underwear. Chorus Wylodine,
the gov’ner says we can go out
unlock them kids from their cages
And put on your britches
Gonna grab a root at Cracker Barrel
Who-eee, no more cans of Chef Boyardee Chorus
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Hi Ezekiel,
That was simply inspired!
Well, what more can I say?
Full of social realism and hilarious throughout.
Can't stop singing the chorus after only one listen.
Going back for a second one.
Many thanks for making us laugh in these strange times.
ROG.
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Man, this is outstanding, Ezekiel. You speak for all of us. Trains had to blow the whistle through the holler, and, man, that's funny about John Wayne. Never heard that before. Now I gotta go hear this one again. Great lyrics!
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Thanks, ROG. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Marty,
Thanks for the listen and comments!
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REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics.
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Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
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 Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler  We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist!
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani
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"Don’t think I’ll survive this caper
With two rolls left of one-ply toilet paper"
HA!
A clever write. An excellent BAND to back it up. And a good mix.
Fun. Entertaining. Nice to have a little levity regarding the current situation...
fj
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Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
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Very Creative and very funny! I got a good laugh and we all can sure use that. Enjoyed very much, Tom
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Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert
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I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it!
I got banned from Weight Watchers for dropping a bag of M&Ms on the floor.
It was the best game of Hungry Hippos I've ever seen!
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Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike
Mike Garry BIAB 2025/RealBand, UltraPak, Kontakt, EZmix, Ozone 9 Elements, Hybrid 3, Audacity, MSi PC, Windows 11, 64bit, 16GB ram, CPU: Intel i7. https://soundcloud.com/user-952388172
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Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then.
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Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg
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REALLY loved this one Ezekiel, great lyrics. Thanks, Graham! Scott,
Absolutely amazing write! Shiny gemstone in the swamp of ongoing apathy.
Loved it! Thank you for sharing.
Misha.
Thank you for your kind assessment! Creative and funny. A great combo. Hey, we get the holler thing...we call the bottom area between two small ridges on our property a holler We really enjoyed this...the write, your vocals, the RT usage and the mix. Great use of that solo RT too. J&B PS At least you're not down to Sears catalogs. If they still exist! Sears Catalogs? We're using the neighborhood cats! Hi, Scott !
The first item that disappeared
from the stores over here in
Helsinki were toilet paper and
fortunately we had bought a
big bale much earlier so we
were out of the danger zone !
Funny how it was just TOILET PAPER
- made us think have or fellow Finns started
to EAT toilet paper ???
Well anyway, we can relate to your
absolutely superb lyrics and I´m sure
you must have had real fun putting
the tune together !
Hope you and your closest are safe
(and have enough toilet paper nowadays) !:))
Cheers
Dani Dani, all the toilet paper disappeared off the shelves here and is still difficult to obtain. Why on earth people would think they would need to stock up on toilet paper for a pandemic, I'll never figure that one out. Still laughing!
Sent a link to the whole family.
Thank, ROG, for bringing me more listeners.
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Great fun- an outstanding write with a zinger in every verse.
I`m no expert, but for my dime you nailed the Appalachian references and accent!
Well done.
Robert Thanks, Robert. I hope nobody takes me to task on the accent. It's probably a combination of different regional accents. :-) I LOL out loud!
This is a very creative write. You nailed that good ol' redneck sound! Loved it! Thanks, Mario. The humor in my song is the same type of stuff that used to get me in trouble in school. Great stuff Ezekiel.
Humorous, topical and inspired - a good happiness boost in these challenging times.
Mike Thanks for giving my song a listen, Mike! Funny little ditty, you put together.
Ha! a toilet paper song. Who would have thunk this a year ago?
Also, I speak Appalachian as my primary language and I'm still working on this "proper English" thing...
Thanks for posting your song.
Everyone needs a good chuckle now and then. Bawb, I lived in the mountains of southern West Virginia for a brief spell when I was a youngin. Then we moved back to Michigan where I reacquired my Midwestern accent. Funny stuff!! And, MAN, can I relate!! Nice job with the arrangement and the mix!! Enjoyed!! Take care. Greg Thanks so much, Greg!
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Hi Ezekiel I love it this is so funny great job I needed a laugh thanks eric
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