PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Mijn brief, another Dutch song

Hy everyone,

I wasn't able to put much effort in the forum the last couple of weeks. I am sorry for that. I will try to participate more, I promise! I have more time now. But what a load of songs you placed since. Couldn't you wait till I returned?

On the other hand I was also busy making a new song. A Dutch one again. Like the song 'Weerzien' it is based on a poem from my late mother (I wrote some words as well). This one is called 'My letter'.
https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/mijn-brief

It is a Blues, but with some strings in it. I don't know if you can do that with Blues, but to me it sounds allright. The singing isn't so bluesy so Dutch people can understand it more easily and all others can just enjoy the melody.
I translated the lyrics, but found it not so easy to do. Some words have a load or tension, that cannot be translated with the help of Google. I'm pretty sure in English there are better words to express what I sang in Dutch in some cases. Don't tease me with that, please...

Enjoy,
Hans


Instruments and style:
Style: QUAG.STY (Mire Swampy Blues)

RealTracks: 2903, Bas, Acoustic, Rhythm Bluesy Pop Byron Gel 100
RealTracks: 3164, Guitar, Bariton Electric, Rhythm Bluesy Pop Gel 100 Clean
RealTracks: 2677, Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm Blues Brent Gel 85
RealTracks:    804, Guitar, Elektric, Rhythm Driving Country Ballad Clean Gel 65
Loop:          World\Latin - afro_cuban100_a_rims2 drums ev16.wav
RealTracks: 3353, Guitar, Electric, BackgroundSoloist SwampyBluesBrent Ev 095
RealDrums: BluesRockSlowEv^1-a:SideStick , b:Snare

Native Instr., keyboard Session strings2, Modern Lofi
Native Instr., keyboard Analog strings, Plucked

Lyrics (first in Dutch, beneath that in English)
Mijn Brief
(c)WBattem, 1976/ HWBerkhout, 080520
Couplet
Jij weet nog niets van mij
Alleen die ene brief
waarin ik je schreef, in bedekte termen,
van mijn intense eenzaamheid

Nee, jij weet nog niets van mij
Toch ik heb je lief
Ik weet niet of je dit begrijpt
Want je lijkt gevangen in een oude strijd

Refrein
Zo wordt een nieuw begin heel moeilijk
Als 'Vroeger' echt zo vastzit in je hoofd
Ik weet niet of ik zo kan leven, want...
Ik raak alleen maar uitgedoofd
Couplet
Nee, jij weet nog niets van mij
Alleen die ene brief
waarin ik je schreef in die paar woorden
over het gemis dat ik voel

Ook al vind je dat IK moet veranderen
Toch heb ik je lief
Maar verdiep je dan ook eens in mij
dat geeft ons leven weer een doel

Refrein
Anders wordt een nieuw begin heel moeilijk
Als 'Vroeger' echt zo vastzit in je hoofd
Ik weet niet of ik zo kan leven,  want...
ik word van mijn gevoelens beroofd

Solo
Nee, jij weet nog niets van mij

Refrein
Zo wordt een nieuw begin heel moeilijk
Want 'Vroeger' heeft geen ruimte voor spijt
Ik weet niet of ik zo kan leven, want...
Ik raak mezelf dan echt kwijt

Daarom is een nieuw begin ook zo moeilijk
Maar zelfs al hebben we zeeën van tijd
Ik weet dat ik zo niet wil leven, want...
Jij raakt jij mij dan echt kwijt
Ja, je raakt me echt kwijt...
==================================
English

Verse
You still don't know me yet
Only what's in that letter,
I wrote you,in covered terms, about my intense loneliness

No, you still you don't know yet
Though you are dear to me
I don't know if youcan understand,
You seemed trapped in that old fight

Chorus
Than a restart of our relation will be so difficult
If 'yesterday' stays stuck in your head
I don't think I can live like this, because...
all my feelings will die

Verse
No, you still don't know me yet
Only that one letter
in which I wrote in a few words
what I really miss

Even though you told me I have to change
Still you are dear to me
But try thinking about my needs as well
It can give a direction for our life again

Chorus
Or else a restart of our relation will be too difficult
If 'yesterday' stays stuck in your head
I don't know if I can live like this, because...
I'll be robbed from all my feelings

Solo
No, you still don't know me yet

Chorus
This makes a restart of our relation so difficult
Because 'Yesterday' has no room for regrets
I don't know if I can live like that because...
I will lose myself

That is why a restart of our relation is so difficult
But even if we have lots of time
I know I don't want to live like this, because...
you really lose me
yes, then you really lose me

Hans,
Interesting the way a different language leads to very cool phrasing surprises- no doubt they relate to the meaning for Dutch listeners- your vocal is strong with those edgy consonants you don`t hear in Anglais.
A good swampy backtrack and mix.
Is there a Dutch BiaB forum to share this?

Robert

Hans I really like this. Your vocal is really strong here. The mix is spot on also. I don't need to understand a vocal to know what is a great song and this is a great song.

Hello Hans ...

This is a terrific song! This might be your best vocal ... of the ones I've heard. Love the mysterious backing tracks. Very nicely done! best to you. Be safe ...

Alan

Hans,

A cool sounding song. A lot of passion in the vocal.

The guitars sound good and the drums are at a good level.

The strings panned to one side sound "unbalanced" to me. Strings are typically spread across the stereo field - so you could play another track of the strings and put it on the other side for balance. A little thing. In BIAB if you have two tracks with the same RT, they usually will generate differing, but complimentary tracks - which can give you a really "full" sound for something like strings.

An enjoyable listen.

fj

We always enjoy the soul you put into your vocals!

The production sounds good on our monitors.

You made nice use of those RT's and the RD/percussion loop.

There're no rules on what instruments to play with blues. They
either add to the blues feel or they don't. Everything in
your composition contributes to the bluesy feel and works
well with the vocal...great phrasing.

We enjoyed it!

J&B

Hi Hans,

Another good song!

I like the progression you are using, and I like that swampy blues style too, a perfect fit for the song.

Nice vocal!

I'll have my wife listen to it later, she is out at the moment. See how many words she can pick out

Hans,
Cool collision of classic & modern styles. Very interesting arrangement.
Your mixes are getting better. Vocals are clear, and sit well, but I would prefer them a little fuller (more lower end?) Unfortunately I am not knowledgeable enough to offer a suggestion. In my view, fun part of music making is to experiment, and in that you succeed
Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

Hans,

I must be in an 80’s mood today, because this is the second song I’ve heard tonight that totally brings me back . . . this one a tad less so, but that bass vibe with that vocal—yeah, I’m there! Here, too, I wish I understood Dutch enough to appreciate this song in its natural language—but the translation works well. Nice production work, too—everything works great to my ear.

Hope all is well with you,

Deej

At first something in general: My translation of the Dutch lyrics was very bad. In my first post I replaced them with a -maybe- better version. It was still difficult to translate it into proper English. I am afraid there are still mistakes in it, but I think it's more easy now to follow what I sing.

Now my reply to some posters:



Hi Robert, yes, those edgy consonants... we are infamous on this, Im afraid. Although I now other languages that have a higher score on that scale. As far as I know there is no Dutch BiaB for songs. But be glad for that! Otherwise you would never hear them and I'm sure that is not what you want, is it? ;-)
Thanks for the compliments!




Hi Mario, You too must have had a hard time trying to understand what I sing/wrote. But it was about doubts we can have if we try to restart a relation when your partner can't get rid of the past. Whatever past that might be. But you couldn't care less, you like to listen to the melody, as I could read. Thanks for your compliments on that! I enjoyed reading your post.



Hello floyd, thanks for the compliments, but more thanks for the listening and advise about the strings. I did some changings on that part. I had a feeling the strings started to annoy me and then you wrote about them! That's when I changed them: I did some changings of the chords, placed the stringstrack in the middle of the 'band' and two tracks on both sides with a modern sound that fits well with the strings. To me it felt as an improvement, so thanks Floyd.

Great arrangement, I enjoy especially the baritone guitar and those mysterious strings which reflect nicely the melancholy in the lyrics. I think the most famous use of strings in a blues song is The Thrill Is Gone by B.B. King. The loop is not to my taste here, maybe it is just mixed too front, but it is just very minor thing. Great vocals, all the dynamics and nuances come naturally in your native language.

Janne

Very cool track Hans. Very cool groove to the song. Super vocal. I agree with the Robert on the lyrics very cool phrasing..

Hans

Enjoyed the song - a strong vocal and a very effective backing, that all sounds good to me.

Well done.

Peter

A good friend of mine is an amazing violinist. Strings in blues is certainly allowed. hehe This is a very interesting song, Hans, and a very unique and enjoyable production. I love hearing the Dutch language. It reminds me of being there.

Nice one Hans

Hans,

I love that swampy guitar and vibe. It took a minute to hit me but once it did, man I was in the groove. And then that guitar solo in the middle - superb. All those instruments and sounds just came together brilliantly in your masterful hands. The sound of the Dutch lyrics really adds an extra "magic" to it also.

Great track!

Hi J&B, thanks for your compliments! And it's good to point out that strings are no problems in a Bluessong. As you noticed, I would have tried them anyway. Boundaries are to be crossed, don't you agree?




Hi Dave, of course I am curious if your wife understands something of the lyrics. Especially because I haven't used the words 'laughter' and 'red wine' in this one. And thanks a lot for your nice words about the song. It's you setting the bar high with your songs. I have to do my utmost to come near. Fortunately we don't have a contest on this!




HI Misha, thanks for your nice words about the song. About the volume of the vocals; they were a bit fuller at first, but I hasitated and changed it. to me they came too much upfront (could be I'm still uneasy singing in Dutch). But who knows?

Thanks all,
Hans

Wow. Strings, pads, voices...everything worked under that bluesy guitar with those little hits peeking out between the muted licks, and bassline. As I read here recently. It's music. Of course it works. Everything is beautifully subtle and intimate when it should be reading along in my broken English. This sets such a great mood. I love to hear you sing, and I love your signature vocal "sound".

I really enjoyed this thoroughly.

I like your Dutch vocals, they grabbed my attention and really the strings played second fiddle if you'll forgive the pun. Thanks for supplying the English translation, that was helpful. Nice work, I enjoyed listening. If you sang in Dutch all the time, that would be fine with me.

You've become much more confident and solid in the vocal department.
You sound great - there're a few spots where hard sounds seem to distort a little bit but you're doing a fabulous job now.
The arrangement is cool - solid bass, drums and guitar with those little things going on to add lace to the sleeves.