PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase That Morning, a melancholic song

Hi everyone,

I made a melancholic song about 'empty nest' feelings a couple suffers from. It is called That Morning: https://soundcloud.com/user-296497130/that-morning

Some of us know what this is. I wrote it when I saw how my sister-in-law was bothered by this when her last child left the house. I fantasized about this situation and that's how the song was born (...).

The song starts with only a guitar, and a verse later another one. But slowly more instruments enter and the song becomes more intense. I hope you like it. It is a bit different than the latest songs I made lately and...it is no Blues-melody, but I used an accordion!

Hans
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The instruments
Style: PACIFIC.STY

RealTracks: ~2478:Bas, Acoustic Gel 110
RealTracks: 1006:Piano, Acoustic, Pop California Gel 85
RealTracks: ~365:Gitaar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Gel 85
RealTracks: 1752:Accordion, Gel 110
RealTracks: ~362:Gitaar, Acoustic, Rhythm Gel 85
RealTracks: 3063:Vocaal Aahs, Rhythm Pop Gel 85
RealDrums: SouthernPop16RnB^02-a:Hat, Sidestick, b:Ride, Snare
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The lyrics:
That morning
(c) HWBerkhout, 280620

I didn't notice, it crossed our way
Time altered our day
Children grow up, we helped them do
Not always easy, that's true

Then came that time, they don't need you
And they leave home too
Parent fears such event,
wishing it could be bend

It was that morning
When we woke up like before
We listened intensely
To the sounds that are no more

Peace came upon us
Resignation filled our day
I saw your eyes smiling
I knew then pain slipped away

The fun bustle left no trace
Silence took its place
Their empty rooms are all we've got
But memories fill the a lot

Oh, it was that morning
When we woke up with a smile
I closed my arms around you
And we laid there for a while

Peace came upon us
Your heartbeat I did feel
I cradled you so gently
While our feelings still heal

I haven't learned yet how life may go
but we have each other, we know
Getting older with a bond so strong
This is how we come along

Oh, it was that morning
When we woke up with a smile
I closed my arms around you
And we laid there for a while

Peace came upon us
While we nestled in our bed
I cradled you so gently
We laid there, nothing said

Yes, peace came upon us
While we nestled in our bed
I cradled you so gently
We laid there, nothing said

It's all we both wanted
Silence we now share
We conquered eternity
Only we were not aware

Hans,

A nice song about a subject that many can relate to.

The build up of instruments is nicely done. And your vocal has a lot of passion.

The guitar is just slightly too loud in comparison to your vocal. When the accordion joins, it is too. They both "draw attention to themselves" instead of being "supportive". (They are well balanced to each other). The bass is a at a good level when it joins (compared to the other instruments). Cool aahs, too...

During the chorus, the vocal gets lifted to a good level.

All in all, a good mix (but the early vocal needs a slight bump).

Good stuff.

fj

Hans, I really love this.

Incredible arrangement. Classy. Very, very well done sir.

Lovely song Hans. This a song I can relate with. Was a sad day when our son made his way out into the world and we knew he was not coming home to stay again. Now he has two grown daughters that may soon be vacating the nest. Beautiful vocal and lyric. Well done

Hans,
Good write! Major subject well delivered. I like how the mood changes on second half. Mix is clear, but I think vocals could come up a bit. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.

We like the lyric, the band, the build and your vocal.
Everything!

While we never had children we've seen family and friends
express the sentiments you so well described.

Excellent!

J&B

Hans,
I like the inspiration for the lyrics and happy/sad way you explore it with that focus on waking up to a very different house.
The accordion works to keep the feeling light; there`s something in the song that reminds me of Cat Stevens ( who also had a light touch with big subjects).
(With a little bump on vocals), this stands as one of your best!

Robert

Hi Floyd, thanks for your constructive criticism! I appreciate this very much. It makes me get my mixes better all the time.
It was a bit funny, because at first I had my song mixed somewhat in the way you advised me too. I changed that then, because I thought the voice was too loud. But now I followed your advise, including the guitar and accordion and have to admit you are right! The new version is uploaded to SC.



Hello David, thanks very much. I feel very honored, especially because of that 'sir'!



Hey Scott, thanks for your nice comment and compliment! And indeed, now your son will experience what you and your wife have felt, back then. My wife became emotional again when listening to my song. For me that felt as some kind of victory, because she never had that on my other songs...

So thank you all for listening,
Hans

Very nice Hans...I think you succeeded with the concept of building up the intensity.
I liked the little stop that you used before the chorus.
Your voice multiples worked out great.
And the way you ended it.
I really enjoyed it and got some good ideas from listening.

Nice song Hans!! My kids are in HS and I'm dreading the empty nest.....love having them around!! I like the arrangement and the vocal, but the highs on the vocal could probably be trimmed a bit....I tend to do the same thing. Enjoyed it!! Take care. Greg

Hi Misha, thanks for your compliments. You are right about the vocals. I had them louder at first, but than changed it. I changed the song 2 times after that. First the vocals in the first part (and the fp-guitar and accorion), today I added two track of violins which differ from each other. It was some work to get that right, but the result is a nice violin harmony. although, that's what I think.

And you know what? Someone told me yesterday I was second on the songwriterschart from SoundCloud. Today I was nr. 1! I think within some hours I will be very famous (and rich). Try beating me, Misha!!



Hi J&B, I think it is how we deal with the loss of a loved one of dear situation. And I am a bit tenderhearted sometimes. Especially with my animals. Don't you?
But thanks for the nice words and your support on all my songs!



Hi Robert, the light bump on the vocals is done some days ago, but also some violins are added. I did that today. I was a littlebit nervous if it would work out well, so I'm checking it on all different musicplayers. At first the vocals got too sharp (read what Greg wrote about that). changed that too. And your association about this song (a bit) with Cat Stevens now hangs on a banner in my studio. Thanks for your nice comment!



Hello Tano, today I added violins in the song as well! I hope you like it too (if you can get yourself together listening to this song again). I hope to hear from you what kind of ideas it brought you. You have noticed I am not stuck to one particulair style. Maybe you can try something different too, Hip Hop? Thanks for your nice words!



Hey Greg, lucky man you are! But time goes faster then we think. So later, you play this song on your player, and help your wife getting through these times. But before you do, I listened to your comment and did something about the sibilance. And I also added some violins.
I think you'll be satisfied by now. Let me know if you're not!

Thank you all for your kind remarks and stay safe (again),
Hans

I liked everything about this. You have touched many with those lyrics; very well done. A strong vocal and excellent mix. I really liked your dynamics.

Hi Mario,

Thanks a lot for your comment. I had to change the mix 3 times though. 2 times because of my voice was too soft, then too harsh and the last one because I wanted a violin ensemble in it. I was afraid it would do more harm than good to the song, but you had no complains, so I'm on the right track I suppose ;-)

Have a nice jamming day!
Hans

Sounds good to me, Hans!

I read all the comments, seems I got here after you had already tweaked the mix.

Lovely song, I wouldn't change a thing.

Hans

Very nice in all respects, excellent build and backing, nice vocal and lyric.

Well done.

Peter

Hi Dave and Peter,

Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate them very much.
Even more, because I have that feeling these kind of songs are not your favorite.
I had hoped you would give me your opinion on the string ensembles (I added later).
Were they nice or did they destract? Something like that...

But I have some news! I am working on a bluessong now. That is more your cup of thea, I believe.
And judge me strict on that one. I will do the same (if there is a reason to) ;-)

Stay safe overthere,
Hans

The chorus is very sweet with a Harry Nilsson lilt and melody.
It's sweet rather than melancholic...the empty nest feeling is less evident these days I hear.
Nice work...love the chorus.

Hans, this has been beautifully put together! The song is very good and you have done a great job with the vocals...I like the heavier vocal reverb on this! It suits the mood of the song well IMO! Another very good one from you! Thanks, T

Very nice build up, I like especially the use of the accordion - it fits the melancholy mood very well. The melody is beautiful and has nice drowsy feeling of a morning - thus very appropriate title for the song. Touching story also, I like the variations in the chorus, although the downside is that the "hook" is less memorable.

Janne

Hi Ray, I know up close that empty nest feelings are still 'hot' (in the Netherlands?). But I can live with you qualification of course ;-). As long as people like it. I wrote it after I saw my sister in law struggling with this issue when her last child left the house.
But i'm not sure she listened to the song. The lyrics were 'heavy' enough.




Torrey, thanks! You said this very nice. Indeed, the vocals took some time! There were several cases the mixing of the song was ready and the mastering had to start, when I became dissatisfied about the singing of it all and had to do everything over again. I almost hated the song by then.



Hi Janne, thanks for your words. And about your last line, that is true. The second part of the song (after the yell) had to stay connected to the first part. That was a challenge.

Hans