Hey Dan...

Your work is always top notch and your input is always welcomed. I'm honored that you took some time to think about this and actually create a new form for the song.

The original song was too short, only a little over two minutes. Basically VERSE, CHORUS, VERSE, CHORUS and out. The new form was VERSE, VERSE, CHORUS, (instrumental)VERSE, VERSE, CHORUS and out. We added the instrumental verse, and a vocal verse, resulting in a full minute increase in song length to about 3:30. So very straight forward and simple form. So I'm kinda confused about what you said was tripping you up. Anyway, your recreation was the same up through the instrumental VERSE, and then you created a 6 line final CHORUS using the original final CHORUS with two lines from the new VERSE in the middle of it. Is this what you intended? It seems "unbalanced" now compared to the first part of the song thru the instrumental. I know you know what the hell your doing, I think I might not be seeing it right. I'll do some more listening. And once again I'm really pleased you thought enough of the project to bother with it.

You da man,
Bob