Dear Mom and Dad,
well, it's 6/19/2012 at 8:36 am ET, and still no 2012.5

But that's OK, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes. However, did you know that living in the elements (rain, dew, sun etc)for an extended period of time makes your whole body into something resembling a raisin, only far less appealing? Dice some apples onto me and add Mayo and I'd be the worst waldorf salad ever. But enough talk about food, since you never did send the fried chicken. The mosquitoes are starting to look appetizing... but to eat one would be cannabalistic, since there's more of my blood in them than there is in me at this point.

PS this will be my last correspondence since lack of food and blood is making me dizzy and unable to focus. I've fallen down so many times the parking lot has multiple indentations shaped like my face. Hopefully 2012.5 is not far away, and I can go home and pick the tarmac out of my teeth.

Your loving son,

Pat

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ey71h8ep047758h/AAC12jNM0Hz9Q8zsh5iDeqNHa?dl=0