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Hi Josie,

Here are my previously mentioned comments on the lyrics of Like A Lady.


Before I comment, I'd like to say that the below is just my perspective. I'm only one person I apologise in advance if what I write comes across as anything other than an opinion. I sincerely like this song. As I listened, though, thoughts occurred to me. Then, as I thought about it more, other thoughts occurred to me.

I completely understand that the whole point of FAWM is to get drafts down as quickly as possible and then move on. The transformation of drafts into full blown songs and productions comes after February.


To start with... here's my analysis

The Song's WHY
As I heard it, the lyric concerns a parent singing about his or her daughter and offering 'boys' some advice. This lyric is cleverly constructed because it could be sung by either a mum or a dad.

In the first half of verse 1, the parent speaks and talks about 'a boy' in third person. This section has a good, general feel about it. The second half now uses first person plural and talks inclusively about 'our daughters'. The use of 'some' as a pronoun is still presenting 'men' in third person... i.e. talking about them not to them. The use of 'our' gave me the impression that the singer seemed to be expressing the thoughts of all parents of daughters.

• For me, by this stage in the song, I'd formed the image in my mind that the singer is talking to a group of parents of daughters about how things could be better if the daughters were more aware of mens' qualities.

Now comes the chorus... With the use of 'you', the perspective initially sounded like the singer is referring generally with the plural 'you' to the group of parents. Then it changes. I was a little confused because it sounded like 'you' was also meant for the 'men' who, up until this point, had only been present in third person... now it seemed like the singer had turned around to a group of men on the other side of the stage from the parents and was addressing them directly. When the song finished, and I looked at the words, I saw that 'you' could be being used in the general sense of 'one'. When I substituted 'one' into the chorus...


… it worked so 'you' could definitely be used in this general sense. I didn't hear it that way though. Also, with the last line of the chorus, it occurred to me that 'with' dignity might work better because 'in' dignity is easily confused with the word 'indignity' and it's very different meaning.

The second verse and bridge also seemed to talk to parents sometimes and men sometimes. It also sounded like the singer might be the representative of a group of parents here too. For theses reasons, streamlining the perspective, so that any hint of confusion is removed, is worth playing around with.


At this point, it occurred to me that choruses often work better when they're stripped of pronouns because then they can be easily coloured by whatever pronoun(s) and tense leads into them from the verse. The only pronoun I needed to keep was 'her' since the chorus is about the daughter. To strip a chorus of pronouns, the simplest way is often to change verbs into their '-ing' form. The infinitive form of the verb is also useful for this (e.g. I've used 'to get' in the below). These verb forms work well with any tense that's used in the verse (past, present, future). Doing this led me to...


With no personal pronouns other than 'her' in the chorus, I now needed to develop a trigger phrase (or word) that could give the chorus meaning relative to a specific perspective in the preceding verse. Playing around with this, led me to... 'It's all about...” or maybe just “It's...” or even “If you want to make her happy, it's...”

Ok... this is when I thought I'd create a situation in my mind and shape the lyrics to that situation. For this particular 'who is the singer talking to' and 'why', I thought I'd try the scenario that a young man has come around to ask a mum if he can take her daughter out. They are standing at the front door talking. This then leads to the mother reaching down and grabbing her guitar and singing to the young man with some advice about how he should treat her daughter. It's fortunate that she keeps a guitar beside the door for emergencies such as this Thus...



The question now arises as to how to develop verse 2 so that the emotional intensity increases while keeping my above scenario in mind. Maybe moving into questions could work...



The bridge's perspective again moves to the group of parents and addresses them in relation to sons and daughters. Since a bridge often works well when the philosophical content is boosted and also since its meaning usually colours the final chorus, I played around with some 'bigger picture' ideas like... 'what's the meaning of life?', etc... a metaphor could work well here... This led to the metaphor "the road of life" which eventually yielded...



Here's a link to a pdf of the whole lyric...


Hope what I've written is useful. Please feel completely free to throw it away!

All the best,
Noel

Edit: modified a couple of lyrics

• my latest song: With You In My Arms