Thanks, guys. Very kind, supportive, and helpful comments and suggestions from everyone. It's good to get another set of ears on things. I start 2nd guessing and 3rd, 4th. Deconstruct it and then lose the $%&* parts.

Floyd, thank you very much; getting that new set of ears really helps identify those word-bumps others hear, like "that" and "the." For me, "that" is a bump, takes away from the emphasis on "Look", (...the GIRL with THAT look in her EYES... rather than....the GIRL with the LOOK in her EYES...) but it's all subjective and again, I REALLY, REALLY appreciate the feedback from you and from Charlie on it!

Now to "ruined." Ruined is about 2 1/2 syllables with the "ed", so at least 1 too many if a true flow is desired. "Broke" or "break" or anything with 1 syllable is better in that spot. You da' man!


Andy

BIAB 2017 Ultra
Windows 8 and 10
Scarlet 18i8
Reaper and Mixpad