Yep... that works better.

Nothing in the vocals drew unwarranted attention which is exactly what you want.

I think you have a winner there. Best of luck pitching it. Be sure to come back and brag a bit if it gets picked up by a producer. You deserve it with that song. Excellent work.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.