Dave,

A cool, breezy, jazzy rock sound/feel. Nice use of the BAND.

An interesting story line, nicely done.

I would agree that the high end (EQ) could be knocked down - on the vocal mostly... a bit on the drum track. I like the crispness of the others instruments, so I think warming the vocal up would make it all work together. And adding some harmonies in the choruses.

This is surprisingly catchy. I'm still singing along in my head...

fj