This is a really tricky and touchy area, but I am going to have to side with John (J3) on this one because of one small concern:

The law.

People will hate me for making this comparison, but it is like the border issue. How many "illegals" do you turn a blind eye to? 1, 1,000, 10,000, 1,000,000, zero?

What does the LAW say?

Strictly speaking, if a law is in place (and copyright laws are in place to cover many things) you can't pick or choose which situations you think they should apply to, if those situations are already spelled out under the law. Is the ASCAP rep being greedy? That depends on your definition. They are mercenary soldiers. They get paid for a "kill." It is how they earn their living. ASCAP pays them for all the violations they can find. Same with BMI. Some may say they are the musical equivalent of ambulances chasers, or vultures or whatever other analogy you want to use. Others may say they are just doing their job. Who is right?

But does the law guarantee and uphold their right to do this, however cold-hearted and chiseling it may seem in some cases?

Yes. Absolutely.

It might totally suck, and in this case I feel sorry for everyone, but the law is the law, when all is said and done.

If the law does not work you have to make a new one.

I would like to see a law passed that would allow people to play show tunes for the elderly, but legally, I don't see how you would be able to do that without gutting the very intention and spirit of the law itself--which is to protect the rights of songwriters to get paid when their songs are performed.

A very thorny area, though, I admit. Very thorny.