Deej,

You did a good job with this. John's lyric works well in a rock format (which is more lenient with lyrics that shoot off in different directions).

A good rock arrangement. A cool opening. Drums sound good. Bass is nice, too (a little "beefier" for a good bottom end wouldn't hurt). The guitars work - a "darker", meatier guitar on one side would give you a bit more "beef", too - but that is a "personal choice" - a lot of indie rock has the kind of "crisp" rock guitars you have here...

A good vocal. You have the power to pull of this type song. Another "personal choice" - I would have it "sit in the mix" a bit more. Adding some bottom using EQ to bump the low mids, perhaps - and rolling off the highs some.

This is a good one. Y'all should go down this road further...

fj