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Hi, all: Here’s another offering, this one a first time collaboration with Carroll Kiphen. I had stumbled across Carroll’s lyrics for this song, originally titled “Crimson Red” and really liked them . . . Carroll graciously allowed me to give it a whirl and here’s the end result. As always, feedback and suggestions are welcome. I hope you enjoy it! Here’s the song:
LAY ME DOWN
Here are the lyrics:The sun bled like a wounded beast lying down to die; surrendering to the night, to stars and the candlelight. I’ll sail until this ship goes down into the stormy sea; and resolutely close my eyes while God and I make peace. Lay me down; lay me down upon this burning bed. Lay me down, lay me down on sheets of crimson red. Please kiss my lips just one more time; sing me your lullaby. Hush, sweet lover, please don’t cry, just let me say goodbye. Let’s have no regrets, no sorrow, no more tears tonight. Transgressions not withstanding, I’ve made a mess of my life. Lay me down; lay me down upon this burning bed. Lay me down, lay me down on sheets of crimson red. I’ve let you down; shattered your dreams— I broke your heart, it’s such a tragedy. Painted my part: it’s my work of art. Lay me down; lay me down upon this burning bed. Lay me down, lay me down on sheets of crimson red. And here’s the band:
RealTracks: 995:Bass, Electric, HardRockLA Ev 120 RealTracks: 2757:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm RockHeavy8thsCraig Ev 120 RealTracks: 879:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm NorthernRockGrittyQuarters Sw16 075 RealTracks: 3181:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm AcRockDriving8thsQuinn Ev 100 RealTracks: 2586:Guitar, Electric, Soloist PunkMurray Ev 165 RealTracks: 3207:Pedal Steel, Background RockGrittyEddy Ev 120 RealDrums: RockModernRnB^01-a:Snare, Closed HiHat , b:Snare, Crash Ride
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You get better with each song. Heck of a way to set the bar :-) .
Honestly? I'm trying not to be "gushing with praise" again - apparently, it's not the "done thing" ... or so some tell me. But, seriously and honestly: great job. A pro effort - that's what you are (a pro) and that's what you offer with every song. No exception here.
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Deej,
A good Rock number. Nicely put together. Well sung - as always.
The vocal sits in the mix well - right where a Rock vocal ought to (there are a few spots where it gets a bit high-EQ-heavy, but a lot less than in the past). Overall a good Rock mix.
You should do more with Carroll. Y'all make a good team. (A good Rock melody, btw).
fj
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Well it's all there and all good.
- great rock lyric (love that chorus!) and vocal (you nailed it!)
- great choice of RT's and RD.
- The mix sounds excellent on our monitors.
Couldn't agree more with floyd's statement that y'all make a good team!
Well done.
J&B
PS: The only thing I consider would be doubling the snare to get more snare "pop" and gain in the mix. And this is but a suggestion not a criticism at all...given that we are limited with the RD's to mixing the entire kit (via one stereo file). And, I'll be the first one to admit that the doubling process is tedious unless you have a DAW that has a "groove track" function. Again, a fine rocker indeed.
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Apprentice
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Mix-9
production-9+
Overall vibe-10
Overall rating-9.4
I LOVED it !!!!!!
Really.
Punch up the drums and you got a near perfect effort in this Genre.(IMHO)
Thanks for posting
Rick
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Man! You composed an excellent melody that is a match Carroll's superb lyrics. Be proud. This is so good.
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Nice work - a nice good ol' rock tune always hits the spot, and the mix on this is superb. Nicely catchy too and the vocal performance was smooth as butter too. Thanks for sharing 
Cheers,
Deryk
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Great sounding rocker with classic catchy chorus, colorful lyrics and super voice, I like especially how the solo RT guitar fits the mood.
Janne
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Hi DeeJ ...
I really, really like this! You and Carroll make some pretty darn good music. The vocal is fabulous and the rock b/g is well put together., That was a real nice listen.
Might I suggest a little more emphasis from the bass? I think bringing that bass line a little more forward in the mix would give this an extra kick. Nonetheless, I enjoyed the heck out of this one! Best to you both ...
Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*16GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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What they said - solid rocker that does everything right. Fun listen!
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Cool song Deej,
The guitar solo sounds a bit scooped but that's OK.
The lyrics are a little confusing...
the lines
"Transgressions notwithstanding,
I’ve made a mess of my life."
Translates to
"In spite of breaking laws
I've messed up."
Good singing.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Deej,
That`s a memorable chorus on an excellent straight ahead rocker.
I love listening to you ramp up the vocal intensity and you nail this.
Very good!
Robert
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Very cool song!! Lyrics are very good and your music is the perfect compliment to them! Well arranged, mixed, and sung! Everything works!! Take care. Greg
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Love your vocals. Guitars were excellent. Well done
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Wow, that was powerful! Vox and song both. One of your best. More like this!
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DJ, Nice collab! I feel you put a lot of heart into your music. As it was noted, I think too that you are progressing in the right direction I think you done a grand job with lyrics that were not yours. Very good flow. I wonder what Carroll thought about the completed version? Thank you for sharing Misha.
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James, Floyd, J&B, Rick, Ezekiel, Deryk, Janne, Alan, David, Ray, Robert, Greg, Scott, TuneMonger, and Misha:
Thanks so much for stopping in, giving this one a listen, and taking the time to comment. It’s always a worry when you take on someone else’s lyrics (or music as the case may be) and try to help make it into something listenable. Glad it seems t have worked here. Appreciate the feedback tremendously.
J&B and Rick: The drums were a challenge on this one for me—I really did want to get it a bit more resounding. The last few songs I’ve done the music too I felt I got the sound I was looking for, but for some reason couldn’t quite get there here. J&B, an interesting idea to double down on the snare to get the “pop” I was looking for. I’ll have to keep that in mind for future efforts. BTW, I have no idea what a “groove track” function is—I’m sure Logic Pro has it, but my understanding of the software is so, so elementary.
Alan: I’ll have to try bringing the base forward and seeing how that sounds. Really good suggestion!
rayc: Yes, I guess that line could raise some eyebrows if interpreted literally. To be honest, as I sung the tune, I never quite focused on the literal meeting . . . I just kinda got what the singer meant.
Misha: I think Carroll was very happy with the final product (at least I hope he was), and very pleased with and appreciative of the feedback here (as I had sent him the link to view it). Kind of you to ask.
My best to all of you—stay safe and healthy!
Deej
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Yeah, I like this one!
Great writing, great sounding track, and of course that signature vocal.
Really good guys!
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Oh yeah - you hit all the cylinders on this one. Great rock sound, excellent vocals (in a distinctive style), smokin' guitars, indomitable energy, driving drums. And all that in a great mix and production.
Ed Z Soundcloud profile https://soundcloud.com/user-415064494BIAB user since 2019 iPad Mini, Garageband for iOS, BIAB for Windows 2020 UltraPAK, Xtra Styles packs 6-9, Windows 10 Lenovo PC, Kontakt Player, SpitFire LABS, SampleTank 4 CS, some Soundfonts
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Dave and Ed,
Thanks much, gents! Glad you enjoyed the tune. Hope you are both staying safe and healthy in these crazy times.
My best to you both.
Deej
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