Scott,
You did great minding time pinch. Well laid out composition, If you didn't mention, I would not even have paid attention to rhyme thing, flows very well. Cool phrasing - good lesson!
Vocals are great and delivery is strong, but I feel they are a bit on high EQ side to my ears.
In any case, I salute you for effort in bringing this to life with so much happening on all fronts. It does not feel rushed at all. Thank you for sharing.

Misha.