That's a HUGE improvement over the first one. You took the advice and wow.... what a difference!

I could hear that main vocal and the second vocal clearly. And the spoken part.... not quite telephone but far enough from the singer's timbre to really stand out nicely.

This has some serious Bowie feel to it. And a very nice job.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.