I really like the contrast of the laid back vocal delivery and the violence.
The distorted guitar is VERY fizzy and, if not replaced, should be heavily EQd to remove the super high freq. noise.
A good solid guitar track would work better - most "distorted" guitars in recorded rock - stuff like AC/DC for example, aren't really very distorted...their "heaviness" comes from tone and double tracking/hard panning.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe