The introduction is Outstanding. Love the BAND! It's pure '70's Radio Pop Ballad.
Thanks - that seems to be my wheelhouse. It's a good thing I'm not a songwriter targeting the contemporary market!
I'd initially used an electric guitar solo on the intro, but ended up replacing it with the much simpler Rhodes piano lead.
This DOES have a real Paul Williams quality to it. (excellent inspiration choice).
I'll take that for the compliment it is!

A good write. The Chorus is excellent. Some nicely penned Love Song verse lines (that can be a tough nut).
It's something that I really struggle with. I realize that everything's already been said, so it's hard to write something that's been said a bazillion times, even if it fits and is the right thing to say.
I see the "some", which is a great lead-in to the next paragraph!

(I've erased this next comment several times - but figured you MIGHT want to hear it - even if you say "that's not true"... There is a bit of a "pieced-together-ness" to the verses. A lot of good - even better than good - lines and phrases that somehow felt scattered (?? not quite the right word...). They did not naturally lead me to the chorus. It felt a little "bumpy". That might come off sounding "harsher" than it is intended - because it really is just a "bit of a feeling"..
Not want to hear feedback on my lyrics from a professional songwriter? I've got an ego, but I'm not
that stupid!

And I've got no issue changing lyrics...
if I can think of something better.

It's especially easy to do with synthetic voices, and I've done that for a number of songs.
So you're saying there's not enough focus, and the lyrics don't lead to as strongly to the chorus as they should. I don't doubt it... I probably should have spent more time reworking the lyrics. I'll see what I can do when I get a chance to look at this with fresh eyes and ears.
Thanks! Whenever I come up with a melody I like, I worry it's too derivative of a song I accidentally half-remembered.
They keep the process under an NDA, but I get the impression there are a couple of things going on. One thing the did from the beginning was work with a list of real words, instead of nonsense syllables. This results in a more natural connection of phonemes.
They're also using neural networks trained on a large amount of vocals, so it again has a more natural result.
But I think the "secret sauce" is that they also train the neural networks on the singer's actual singing, and you can "auto-tune" the singer using this. It's not perfect, but it adds a level of realism that gets it past the robotic effect you'd otherwise have.
You (and you son) are doing some Wonderful work!!
Thanks again!
In the future, don't hesitate to include negative feedback - how else will I improve? I may not agree, but I'll certainly give it consideration, and I always appreciate it!
