Originally Posted By: TuneMonger
The title lyric served as a very good, two-note hook. I think this models some of the best songs ever done, like Yesterday (a three note hook). And then that one long sustained note is very effective. I think what follows after that could use a little more work to make it catchier or memorable. Production seemed good to me, I found I didn't pay so much attention to it because the song itself kept my attention. Yeoman work and one to revisit yet again some day.


Thanks, Tunemonger. I though about putting in a bridge, but I couldn't think of anything to fit in with the flow of the lyric.

Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Scott,

A solid write. Interesting throughout. A like it!

Good vocal!!!

Nice tracks. Good mix.

A very good listen.

fj


Thanks, Floyd. I'm glad you had a favorable response the song.

Originally Posted By: firesong
Scott...great job on the vocals...especially in the lower register...I really like the band especially the cello line...I agree with Deej about the emotion in your vocal...has anyone ever told you you have a Neil Diamond texture in your voice? If not...I'm telling you now...I really enjoyed the song! Best regards...Dan


Thanks, Dan. One of my coworkers mention the Neil Diamond thing last year.

Originally Posted By: B.D.Thomas
Originally Posted By: Ezekiel's Storm
...My wife euphemistically told me then that it was not one of my best...

Don't worry, I haven't written a song yet that my wife calls "good" laugh

I think the song works as it is. You create a mood that fits your lyrics perfectly, and your vocals are very good.

As for the structure, the last 3 lines of each verse sound like a pre-chorus to me, so I was actually expecting a chorus, but like I said, it works as it is now.


Thanks BD for the listen and the positive comments.